Dark Poetry #4 |
Bleed |
silhouetted Senior Member
since 2004-01-30
Posts 537New Zealand |
im a deep cut wound thriving to heal from the pain and suffering thats been provoked inside for so long as the memories penetrate into my mind i cant help thinking if your still near if you still look at my picture when you are cold and lonely or am i alone in this fight were the salty tears bled for nothing for something i thought was there but never really surfaced do i bleed too much? is my flow too strong and the current pull you under? do i make you wish you were never born or never met me? all the times that i cried i wasted all and everything i could call my own call my pride and now i sit here just thinking if things were different would things be better? but soon my wound will heal and the pain of everything will be gone but it wont disappear for i'll have the scars to remind me but just for now, i'm gonna let me bleed bleed until my bloods washed clean of you and everything you are and i can wipe my wound dry "When i close my eyes, i remember how to smile, under my umbrella im an accomplished exile..." |
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© Copyright 2004 L - All Rights Reserved | |||
serenities_blood Member
since 2003-12-21
Posts 56New Zealand |
oo i liike!! so much...passion, emotion, feeling... "is my flow to strong and the current pull you under?' VERY nice phrase i read it 3 times because it...has so much power in its words xoxGinaxox |
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Lexy Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038California |
just thinking if things were different would things be better? an annoying thought to think. and yet we all do it. I liked how you were able to add a positive twist. |
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Hollow_Emptiness Senior Member
since 2004-02-01
Posts 715New Zealand |
I liked it, I always like whatever you put up on this board, and you know I'll always read it. But I know there is so much more for you to write, and I can't wait for it. It reminded me of Morgan and Cal. I...don't know why. Maybe becuase I reread spellbound this morning. Anyhow, great write. Hollow. "Why are my visions so unliving with dreams? And why do I no longer care?" - Stygian |
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kissa~rachelle Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988nowhere special |
Wow..there should really be more replys than this. Grr... I just wanted to tell you how much i loved this poem, and to bump it back to the top. Oh, and i am saving, if ya dont mind. Karissa I want a relationship i can finally sink my teeth into.~ Alexander Sterling |
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~K~ Member
since 2004-07-27
Posts 148 |
Bleed is a Great title. I especially liked the last stanza. |
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darkness_witch Senior Member
since 2003-12-03
Posts 516Underneath |
oooooooooo tres bon liked alot good title nirvana means freedom from pain, suffering and the external world. |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Good for you Laura . . . all you can do is move on . . . be proud of yourself . . . |
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vampiana Member
since 2004-09-08
Posts 296Nothing and Nowhere |
but just for now, i'm gonna let me bleed bleed until my bloods washed clean of you and everything you are and i can wipe my wound dry i LOVED that...so very brilliant. the whole poem is just so good. keep it up. "Cut myself on angel's hair and baby's breath"-Kurt Cobain |
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