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silhouetted
Senior Member

since 2004-01-30

Posts 537
New Zealand

0 posted 2004-08-21 08:29 PM

im a deep cut wound
thriving to heal
from the pain and suffering
thats been provoked inside for so long

as the memories penetrate into my mind
i cant help thinking if your still near
if you still look at my picture
when you are cold and lonely

or am i alone in this fight
were the salty tears bled for nothing
for something i thought was there
but never really surfaced

do i bleed too much?
is my flow too strong and the current pull you under?
do i make you wish you were never born
or never met me?

all the times that i cried
i wasted all
and everything i could call my own
call my pride

and now i sit here
just thinking if
things were different
would things be better?

but soon my wound will heal
and the pain of everything will be gone
but it wont disappear
for i'll have the scars to remind me

but just for now, i'm gonna let me bleed
bleed until my bloods washed clean
of you and everything you are
and i can wipe my wound dry

"When i close my eyes, i remember how to smile, under my umbrella im an accomplished exile..."

serenities_blood
Member

since 2003-12-21

Posts 56
New Zealand

1 posted 2004-08-21 08:36 PM

oo i liike!!

so much...passion, emotion, feeling...

"is my flow to strong and the current pull you under?' VERY nice phrase

i read it 3 times because it...has so much power in its words

xoxGinaxox

Lexy
Senior Member

since 2003-01-28

Posts 1038
California

2 posted 2004-08-22 10:01 AM

just thinking if
things were different
would things be better?

an annoying thought to think. and yet we all do it.
I liked how you were able to add a positive twist.

Hollow_Emptiness
Senior Member

since 2004-02-01

Posts 715
New Zealand

3 posted 2004-08-22 11:16 PM

I liked it, I always like whatever you put up on this board, and you know I'll always read it. But I know there is so much more for you to write, and I can't wait for it.

It reminded me of Morgan and Cal. I...don't know why. Maybe becuase I reread spellbound this morning. Anyhow, great write.

Hollow.

"Why are my visions so unliving with dreams? And why do I no longer care?" - Stygian

kissa~rachelle
Senior Member

since 2003-11-27

Posts 988
nowhere special

4 posted 2004-09-04 12:02 PM

Wow..there should really be more replys than this. Grr... I just wanted to tell you how much i loved this poem, and to bump it back to the top.

Oh, and i am saving, if ya dont mind.

Karissa

I want a relationship i can finally sink my teeth into.~ Alexander Sterling

~K~
Member

since 2004-07-27

Posts 148

5 posted 2004-09-04 12:57 PM

Bleed is a Great title. I especially liked the last stanza.

darkness_witch
Senior Member

since 2003-12-03

Posts 516
Underneath

6 posted 2004-09-04 05:28 AM

oooooooooo tres bon

liked alot

good title

nirvana means freedom from pain, suffering and the external world.

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

7 posted 2004-09-07 02:29 PM

Good for you Laura . . .
all you can do is move on . . .
be proud of yourself . . .

vampiana
Member

since 2004-09-08

Posts 296
Nothing and Nowhere

8 posted 2004-09-09 01:54 AM

but just for now, i'm gonna let me bleed
bleed until my bloods washed clean
of you and everything you are
and i can wipe my wound dry

i LOVED that...so very brilliant. the whole poem is just so good.
keep it up.

"Cut myself on angel's hair and baby's breath"-Kurt Cobain

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