Dark Poetry #4 |
Waste |
green_itchy_stuff Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929New Caney, Tx |
She tries to save the world And you trip and fall Flat faced on the ground Stand alone or not at all Its something inside that screams Its something inside that hurts It burns it makes you cry Rusted passion from the dirts Feel it drain and leave Like dying and soul collaspe Push push push Filth of effort traps Under the pressure of responsibility They tip and swayed his mind Run away to meet my duty Jailer of the broken kind Understanding by sighted evidence Documented proof display The ego world tipsy swirled And God stands in dismay No turning back, this time, no walking away -Kutless |
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© Copyright 2004 Kenneth Craig Rogers - All Rights Reserved | |||
kissa~rachelle Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988nowhere special |
I loved this. The end was the best. But the poem as a whole was also really good. I love reading your poems. They seem to aways draw my attention... Karissa I want a relationship i can finally sink my teeth into.~ Alexander Sterling |
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green_itchy_stuff Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929New Caney, Tx |
Thank you. No turning back, this time, no walking away -Kutless |
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KuruShio Member
since 2003-11-18
Posts 110 |
Bloody genius, this is abstract enough to twist the mind while gently staying where it was ment to go. quite well done gis |
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green_itchy_stuff Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929New Caney, Tx |
thank you kuru. And I thought I was just a shredded individual thread. -GIS No turning back, this time, no walking away -Kutless |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Craig, I want to steal this phrase: Rusted passion it is brilliant . . . |
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green_itchy_stuff Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929New Caney, Tx |
Have at it littlewing. -GIS |
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Laney Member
since 2002-12-18
Posts 85Illinois |
must agree...and Jailer of the broken kind...phantasic |
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PainBaneChaos Member
since 2003-10-17
Posts 150The point of no return |
If they're allowed to steal phrases, can I steal the entire first paragraph? |
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green_itchy_stuff Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929New Caney, Tx |
Just the first paragraph, but only if you let me read what you write by e-mail. Just want to see. And littlewing if you see this e-mail me yours too. You post so often that I'm not sure where to ever look for your new ones. Or I just don't get on often enough. -GIS |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
hey Craig, I just made it back here and you would see it posted for sure with thanks to you . . . *smile* |
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vampiana Member
since 2004-09-08
Posts 296Nothing and Nowhere |
loved it. so far, my favourite one, i've read by you. Tomorrow, is the today we feared yesterday. |
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green_itchy_stuff Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929New Caney, Tx |
thank you vampiana. I used to write all bloody but now, at least for now, this is it. -GIS He has made everything beautiful in its own time. -Ecclesiastes 3:11 |
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River Senior Member
since 2003-09-16
Posts 627my own little world |
wow...yeah. I know what you mean. this one got to me also, great job! - Bon "Stained by the sun, I can see colors...colors of mercy washing over me." - 3 Minutes From Home |
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green_itchy_stuff Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929New Caney, Tx |
Thank you from the Jordan River to you River Jordan. God rocks. wow, the God rocks thing could be a poem. -GIS He has made everything beautiful in its own time. -Ecclesiastes 3:11 |
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peaceful_dreamer Member
since 2003-04-25
Posts 159SoMeWhErE oVeR tHe RaInBoW |
Wow. I'm left speechless. This is really great. The first I've read of yours, and I look forward to so much more! "I'm just me, trapped in a body." -peaceful_dreamer |
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symphony_of_thoughts Member
since 2003-08-03
Posts 95Somewhere |
I liked this, usually when I hear rhyme it sounds forced but this flowed well, I can't rhyme and make it sound un-forced myself. |
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green_itchy_stuff Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929New Caney, Tx |
thank you peaceful. I'll have more soon. Sometimes it is hard to ryhme and let it flow smoothly symphony, I guess you just have to give it more patience. -GIS He has made everything beautiful in its own time. -Ecclesiastes 3:11 |
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