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Open Poetry #30

Rose Colored Sin

WannabePoet
Member

since 2003-12-10

Posts 62
New York USA

0 posted 2003-12-10 11:55 PM

He is always there
Taunting and seducing us
With His dark, evil ways
He promises us
All our earthly desires
He claims we can have it
Without any effort
He preys on our human failings
Our laziness and lack of conviction
Our greed to steal what we desire
Our selfishness to please
Only ourselves
He shows us visions
Of life as pure bliss
His seduction is almost
Too much to resist
For humans are frail
And weak little things
This is a battle that
We humans must face
With almost every decision
We are forced to make
He sits on our shoulders
And whispers sweet nothings
Beguilingly into our ears
He softly hisses to us
“All of your dreamsssssssss
I will make come truuuuuuue!”
He promises us
Our lives will be full

But the ultimate decision
Is finally ours
For we were given
The Gift of Free Will
By The One,
He so enviously deplores
In all His glorious wisdom
The One gave us Free Will
With absolute faith
That our love for Him
Will make us choose pure
The choice is ours
To believe or ignore
Those enticing sweet nothings
That are full of lure!
But my fellow humans
Remember this…
The actions we take
We can never rescind,
So please,
Don’t ever give in
To His rose colored sin!

Estel
Junior Member

since 2003-12-10

Posts 22

1 posted 2003-12-11 12:02 PM

I like the content of this poem alot. If sin weren't so rosy colored in this world, I think humanity as a whole would be filled with a bunch of saints.

But, sadly as it is, things that are bad appear to be good, and oftentimes, vice versa.

Excellent write. For a criticism, I would say that this poem certainly couldn't be hurt if you played around with the form a little bit. Don't limit yourself to centering it. Try some cool innovative things if the 'mood' catches you right.

pandonov
Member

since 2003-10-03

Posts 478
b/w conscience and insolence

2 posted 2003-12-11 02:04 AM

interesting indeed, w/c to PIP

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