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Open Poetry #30
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little tiny us
| Open Poetry #30 |
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little tiny us |
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2writeis2be Junior Member
since 2004-01-11
Posts 45Live in London, but from TX |
little tiny us sand grain beings so small living our longshort lives a quick exchange humanity erasingreplacing circularcycles mass mimicry with our families schools jobs little tiny us making the most of our little tininess "Why don't you try and learn from my mistakes? It takes half a lifetime to learn from your own." |
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| © Copyright 2004 Lisa Somerset - All Rights Reserved | |||
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DavePage Member Elite
since 2003-12-21
Posts 2917 |
Too many people saying little acorns grow Taxed into oblivion Are you little people Or just those Facing that piece of sand Rubbing you Into something valuable Dave |
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2writeis2be Junior Member
since 2004-01-11
Posts 45Live in London, but from TX |
"Or just those Facing that piece of sand Rubbing you Into something valuable" Hey that's a good little additional poem dave--really good actually! Striking way you wrote it. Short but sweet and to the point. |
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1slick_lady Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088standing on a shadow's lace |
"sand grain beings" i like this it makes us pearls |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Not a new thought...and still just as futile ~heaves sigh~ I like it though, cept I think you could easily lose the last two lines - they just seem to baldly state the very thing you're saying in the rest of the poem...no point in doing that really...   K |
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Michelle_loves_Mike
since 2003-12-20
Posts 1189Pennsylvania |
...and some of these tiny grains,,, get stuck and cause us many pains... ...not many make it to be pearls,,, yet in our minds, always whirl...... good write Michelle I wish all could find the true happiness I have found,,in the eyes of Mike |
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