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A home without a wall, |
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A home without a wall, |
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| Open Poetry #30 |
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Lost the Chased Away |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration 
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Lost the Chased Away ©2004 C.G. Ward joined a cult to find the tribal truths of blank to black – s o l i d a r i t y. scene set, fires lit, and: roaring, snoring, boring… a beacon to guard against external corrosives. (employees only, the sign reads) thumbs to fingerprints, we traded steps and crossed smiles around the nebulous concept of nubility. }break{ the forest is dark – though that only happens at night, I hear. she’s got my ear between her teeth and I’m not sure if she’s clinging for comfort or tempted to chew. a titter as I trip the undergrowth. I'd like to growwwwwl a warning – but she’s naked and my tongue is paralyzed. ---------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------------- I don’t remember the first time I tasted salt, but can’t help wondering at the similarity. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------- she shines the moon to shame, lays on the ground, and spreads her arms – for some 15-minute comfort. I desire. but cannot. run. laughter trails behind me like the train on a bride’s last stand; white, with some “I’m-not-really-a-virgin-green” sewn in… for the sake of an outdated propriety, of course. hoarse. if E=(I/R), then how can a voice bear beneath the shock of silence? around the corner from Despair, sand dunes ring the porch posts of a podunk bar, like tan snow around God’s Maypole. I’m drinking something – tastes somewhere between sewage and ambrosia… I find I don’t care which. on the stage, you straddle a wobbly stool. the stain’s faded like your skin – a musky, leathery color. yet still, you pluck at the busted guitar like Joan Baez falling-down drunk. (it has a broken string, you know, trailing down your leg, blending with the varicose smiles straining up your ankle.) where’s a fireman when you need one? }break{ …meanwhile, back at the apartment: (a long time ago, in a ghetto far, far away) --> a demijohn lies in the corner, covering a stain of sinful excess (I think she spilled a soda there, once) it’s half-full, this decanter, clinking with copper pennies – though not enough to fill it with wine. across the room, we’re intertwined on the couch, but only to watch Big Valley reruns. ”Little Joe’s dead,” she sighs. ”So is Carl Sagan,” I reply. we ignored the incongruity until my hand dented her kneecaps and the boob-tube blew a horizontal line of static into the murky silence. so, we climbed into the shower as if watered-down sex were somehow - cleaner - than watching Letterman at night. |
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| © Copyright 2004 C.G. Ward - All Rights Reserved | |||
Mysteria 
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Well...even though I think this a bit mature for Open, sure doesn't mean I didn't enjoy every single word of it. I don't think I will forget this line anytime soon I tell you, it painted her the best way any woman could hope to be painted in words. I felt like a fly on a wall, and it was wonderful! she shines the moon to shame, nor these either, I'd like to growwwwwl a warning – but she’s naked and my tongue is paralyzed." Love surely does suits you, this was a nice piece of excellent writing Christopher. Enjoyed the ride. |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
"the forest is dark – though that only happens at night, I hear. she’s got my ear between her teeth and I’m not sure if she’s clinging for comfort or tempted to chew. a titter as I trip the undergrowth. I'd like to growwwwwl a warning – but she’s naked and my tongue is paralyzed." C...I have no idea what this write means, but reading it felt like one of those travelling carnivals had set up in my head. Most fun I've had in a while!!!  |
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Justbleu Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329Oregon, Originally From Alaska :) |
Christopher this was a most enjoyable read!!!! Very nice!!!! Bridgette  "Somewhere, somehow, it should be possible to touch someone and never let go again. To hold someone, not for a moment but forever." Unknown |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
I've seen paintings on walls at art shows and museums in which I had no idea what they meant. Looking at them, however, gave me a basically nice feeling and a sense of satisfaction without knowing why...perhaps the way the lines blended together or how the colors lay just right. Perhaps they simply bypassed my exterior and sent a message directly to my brain, deep enough that my shallowness could not conciously decipher in words. ANyway, this poem does the sameto me. I'd never be able to write a thesis on it but it leaves me with a pronounced inner feeling that I have experienced a good thing. If that's your purpose, you've succeeded here  |
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richard taylor Member
since 2004-01-13
Posts 136 |
this is a great write, it is performance poetry [have you tried that] would go down great that way excellent richard. |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Hi C. I have read your last few poems and have really just been wondering what you're doing? Lol...internal rhyming, assonance, alliteration? Finding internal rhythm maybe? Not sure...you're going for space...curious: any influences or following your nose? Anyway, it's intrigued me. All I can say is, it shows development. Which, as you know, is a good thing. K |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
across the room, we’re intertwined on the couch, but only to watch Big Valley reruns. ”Little Joe’s dead,” she sighs. ”So is Carl Sagan,” I reply. we ignored the incongruity until my hand dented her kneecaps and the boob-tube blew a horizontal line of static into the murky silence. ~*~ Struck by the fact that the north pole and south pole are joined by chemistry...and a prayer for both that growth, and not revulsion of one's incapacity, will occur. Sadly, one will stagnant, and one will soar. (My interpretation...) Well done, Christopher. Happy Birthday! |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
My my my Christopher. I don't know where you were or what you did while you were away but you have returned to us all growed up and writing some of the best damned poetry I've been privelaged to read in some time. More, she whimpered. (and pssst. Happy Birthday.) |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Fantastic write.... and... Happy Birthday! Hugs~ In the midst of winter.. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Christopher I was taken in by the mood of this...and it almost did feel like being captured (with a hint of what Baladeer saw) and then you brought me back to earth with "we ignored the incongruity until my hand dented her kneecaps" and right then I had such a clear visual that it didn't matter that I didn't quite see, because I understood. Hope that makes more sense to you then to me. Is it your birthday? I hope it is good! |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Sharon - I'm not entirely sure why you felt this too "mature" for open (kinda wonderin' what you read into it, lol), but I do, as always, appreciate you comments. As to the specific line you selected, thank you - I believe we all, at one moment or another in time, achieve this pinnacle of perception in someone's eyes, even if not in our own. D - Carnival rides are often most appreciated after you have stepped away from the unsettling and often confusing motion and are reviewing the experience in your mind. Perhaps this is the same affect? Thank you sir. Bridgette - Thank you for stopping in. Mike - Your words have truly touched me. I can't honestly say "that" was my intent, but am inspired to know such has occurred. I find it hard to form an adequate response, so please accept a genuine thank you. richard - an interesting notion - yes, I have, though not in public. I have read publicly, but not for some time and not since I have begun developing my poetry to this current stage. Thank you for the thought. K - Firstly, for what it may be worth, your reply (that it existed) made my day. Perhaps you understand that already. To the rest: I am "following my nose" as you've so quaintly phrased it, which has led to its own form of inspiration. A few lines and I am walking in directions I'd not before considered. Those paths have always been there, but for the sake of some unknown desire to stay within the boundaries of "making sense," I've always avoided them. Really, what it comes down to is a simplistic spurt of rebellion; if no one understands and/or likes it, then so be it. I had fun writing it and it came with its own form of fulfillment. Space, I believe, is an apt observation - I have opened my writing up to that which lies outside the standard clip-clop I'd always clung to. It's quite enjoyable and I see much possibility as I delve deeper into the idea of surrealism. Again, K, thank you.K2 - Another apt observation - a division of principals, of understanding, and of focus. This was a study of dualities from the perspective of a triumvirate (and you thought your math was funny sometimes!). Thank you for your constant encouragement. K3 - awwww. Blush, smoochies, and all the warm fuzzy stuff you can stomach. I am just writing. That you enjoy it... makes me want to stop!!! Ok, just kiddin'. Hugs you. Thanks for the kudos. Nancy - Thank you. Thank you. Martie - Thank you as well - for noticing. I am trying to interject more, "hard" images, as I am finding they not only set the mood better, but also seem to show emotion better than I can ever tell about it. Thank you for the encouragement and for letting me know that I am at lease succeeding a little with it. Again, appreciate the input from everyone. C |
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