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Open Poetry #30
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Your Narcissus
| Open Poetry #30 |
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Your Narcissus |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
Be no echo of my sentiment nor still stream blurred by touch mirror, mirror it is only beauty stays the want. With no pretense of selflessness my gaze becomes your Narcissus reflect then eyes aesthetic bliss in drowning. Till evening settles soft the light and shadows fall on days respite then touch transcribes my eyes delight to braille. |
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| © Copyright 2004 Duncan - All Rights Reserved | |||
Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
With no pretense of selflessness my gaze becomes your Narcissus * cool line*  hey porch puppy, hope your blankie is keeping you warm |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Oh, so beautifully penned! |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Till evening settles soft the light and shadows fall on days respite then touch transcribes my eyes delight to braille. Such a nice feel to this Duncan!! ...my Dad used to read braille, and I remember thinking, it must take the softest touch to understand and get it right. |
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muted
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving |
*whew, this is good* ok, more than good, its fantastic! beauty is in the "hand" of the beholder  beauty is only perception, it is so much easier if we stop looking and just start feeling...... |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
Echo Narcissus that's my nickname for you that's how I will remember you after all these years on mire you dance until you dissolve into light while my words walk by in Echo |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Like Dixie, this deserves a poetic response... I think I'll have to come back to do so however, because for now I'm without. |
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richard taylor Member
since 2004-01-13
Posts 136 |
Hi Duncan, This is quite lovely, perfect flow and with a poetic theam that should be published. regards Richard. |
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Greeneyes 
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
Hey Duncan sigh I have to say I didnt want this to end....a gentle touch and softer images were playing the shadows and walls.....very nice....  Lauren~ ~*~ |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
I see you re-wrote it... and it came out well... not bad at all for a mangey porch puppy with fleas...  |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Yes....soft and gentle.. I really didn't want it to end... and it does deserve a poetic response which I don't have on the tip of my tongue at the moment. Settle for a hug?  Hugs~ In the midst of winter.. |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Duncan You've touched the waters of regret And found the mirror is not wet. Excellent my friend. |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
enjoyed |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
will be back. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Be no echo of my sentiment nor still stream blurred by touch ---------- With no pretense of selflessness my gaze becomes your Narcissus reflect then eyes aesthetic bliss in drowning. ---------------- then touch transcribes my eyes delight to braille. ------------------- whoa..... this is deeeeeeeeep(and very very cool) the moth is gonna have to peel the layers on this one..read between the lines... shake it and see what falls out (besides the alliterations) heh How foolish must man be, not to be impressed by mountains and trees not to be brought to his knees by the beauty of the sky and sea Cherokee Lore |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
interesting write D! pretentious to claim lack of same in the confirming gaze of unsubtle adoration upon illusive self-deprecatory indecisiveness. i like. poem, "meaning," tone, language. veddy, veddy nice. |
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Justbleu Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329Oregon, Originally From Alaska :) |
This was creative and imaginative....I much enjoyed!!! HI DUNCAN!!!! Nicely done!!!! Bridgette  "Somewhere, somehow, it should be possible to touch someone and never let go again. To hold someone, not for a moment but forever." Unknown |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
and thus the blind can see...  |
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ice Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404Pennsylvania |
Excelent...:-) Especially the ending lines... enjoyed ________ice ><> |
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J.Samm Member
since 2004-01-12
Posts 415Iloilo City, Philippines |
liked it! these are interesting lines... "then touch transcribes my eyes delight to braille." |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
one more time... i like this one. |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
reflect then eyes aesthetic bliss in drowning. very nice...and I love Seymours response *s M (the Alicethruglass part of me loves mirrors...) |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Duncan I liked all of this...the way and the meaning! |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
A touch of the classic in this one, D... Suffice to say - I like it.  K |
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Patricia Member Elite
since 2003-04-06
Posts 2160Missouri |
I was hypnotized by this, Duncan. I was so into this piece...I didn't want to come back...then my four year old yelled me out of the trance...Hmmm, best keep this one in the library for when the four year old is sleeping. An exquisite writing! Patricia |
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