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Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

0 posted 2004-01-19 09:39 AM

On Leaving for The Sea

I must look
For this is my house and belongs
To my family now for long the time
That river flowed here
And I am leaving.

These bags must go to the sea
And I may not return to here
Except as rain
When my ashes
Should I die
         Be picked up by the wind and returned
To my family.

My wife would then drink me
As we have drank our own ancestors
And are strengthened by their presence in us

I should stare…
For my children are there in those huts
And they will suffer if I do not sell well
These sacks

The sea calls
    But I pause again
No one knows if the sun will shine on them
And the journey
                            Is always long
………………………….

She Sells Fish

She wore colors well
And in the bright land of sea
Where the trees do not hang low over the water
As they do at home
                      I am struck with the song of her
Too long I watched her carry little fishes
And her hips move with seductive wave under sarong

My sister used to tell me I was a panther
that my eyes stalked women
without them knowing
                      bolder now
my eyes stalk her thighs
                     and I think of my wife on the river
and turn away ashamed at my thoughts.

Tomorrow the broker comes and I sell
then return to that place my family dwells waiting

She should not tempt me so
             For my eyes again are crouching on her legs
And the hues of red
                                 Behind the image of her bare

I must buy fish for dinner while they are fresh
……………………..

Buying Absolutions Relics

I have made my sale
And the broker paid well
So I will find some color to take back
And make baby laugh
Will make my orchid smile

This market is wide with stalls
And the painted horse
On paper was here somewhere.

It reminded me of how
My orchid and I laughed and cried
At the beauty of our flowers
Our girls as they dressed bright
And played together in the sun

It reminded me of the way she
brushed herself on me
and left me a part of the bloom she is

I must find that picture
For it is her
Created to remind me
How our life is colored.

And how I am always
Shades of you
Chi Mae

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

1 posted 2004-01-19 09:53 AM

Cpat
A throw of the dice that turned out nice,
enjoyed the read.

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

2 posted 2004-01-19 10:15 AM

I know I haven't told you before that I've been enjoying your Chi Mae offerings, but I guess I'm telling you now.

These smack of authenticity, the style of the write sounds like something translated--and details of customs ring true:

"My wife would then drink me
As we have drank our own ancestors
And are strengthened by their presence in us"

You never cease to amaze me--you are chameleon.

Nightshade

Member Patricius

since 2001-08-31

Posts 13962
just out of reach

3 posted 2004-01-19 10:24 AM

Simply wonderful writing! Love this! hugs, Chris

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

4 posted 2004-01-19 10:34 AM

This market is wide with stalls
And the painted horse
On paper was here somewhere.

It reminded me of how
My orchid and I laughed and cried
At the beauty of our flowers
Our girls as they dressed bright
And played together in the sun

It reminded me of the way she
brushed herself on me
and left me a part of the bloom she is

I must find that picture
For it is her
Created to remind me
How our life is colored.

~*~

Thank you.

Sadelite
Member Elite

since 2003-10-11

Posts 2519

5 posted 2004-01-19 10:35 AM

Capt.,
  This was incredible!  I didn't want it to end!  I, especially,liked the part that Serenitiy mentioned and also:

"It reminded me of how
My orchid and I laughed and cried
At the beauty of our flowers
Our girls as they dressed bright
And played together in the sun

It reminded me of the way she
brushed herself on me
and left me a part of the bloom she is"

                  ~Sadelite~

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

6 posted 2004-01-19 11:12 AM

Ron...You capture a flavor in this that is delicious.

icebox
Member Elite

since 2003-05-03

Posts 4383
in the shadows

7 posted 2004-01-19 11:23 AM

Wonderful imagery. In my mind there was the scent of kombu, cinnamon, five star, curry, palm smoke, ysmine and sandalwood.

Thanks, I thought I was just going to read a little light poetry while I drank my morning coffee. This was a gift!

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

8 posted 2004-01-19 11:30 AM

You poetry is a gift for us indeed.
Well done Captain sir...extremely well done.
I cannot add more to what icebox stated.
Outstanding writing.
Hugs~

In the midst of winter..
I found there lives within me,
an invincible summer.

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

9 posted 2004-01-19 04:35 PM

This just reeked of the right kind of love to me, the kind that creates pain and want at the same time. Oh man - I loved this, and the details in this were incredible. More k?

muted

Member Elite

since 2004-01-15

Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving

10 posted 2004-01-19 04:41 PM

oh i also wanted the story to continue,
it was as if i was looking through your eyes as you wrote this, the colours, the smells, its just so darned great!

Greeneyes

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-09-09

Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

11 posted 2004-01-19 04:41 PM

This market is wide with stalls
And the painted horse
On paper was here somewhere.

It reminded me of how
My orchid and I laughed and cried
At the beauty of our flowers

It reminded me of the way she
brushed herself on me
and left me a part of the bloom she is

I must find that picture
For it is her
Created to remind me
How our life is colored.
you are amazing, there are no words that would do justice for all I find within the words....

Lauren~

~*~
In your light I learn how to love
In your beauty how to make poems
You dance inside my chest where
no one sees you and that sight becomes art

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

12 posted 2004-01-20 01:00 PM

Someone was working on the holiday?

Well...this needs a bump..

and me telling you how wonderful it is.

"sit on top of the world and tell me how you feel...'cause what you feel is what I feel for you.."
~Dido~

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

13 posted 2004-01-20 01:14 PM

These bags must go to the sea
And I may not return to here
Except as rain
When my ashes
Should I die
Be picked up by the wind and returned
To my family.

My wife would then drink me
As we have drank our own ancestors
And are strengthened by their presence in us
===========================

OH MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Those verses intent are cooler than a mere moth has words for...I was giddy getting to read a trilogy from you..but had to come back
to those lines..they are hauntingly and poetically awesome.
Have I mentioned you rock??

How foolish must man be, not to be impressed by mountains and trees
not to be brought to his knees by the beauty of the sky and sea

Cherokee Lore

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius

since 2000-10-09

Posts 13989

14 posted 2004-01-20 01:20 PM

You ARE the master....everything you write amazes me. Hugs.

Patricia
Member Elite

since 2003-04-06

Posts 2160
Missouri

15 posted 2004-01-20 07:32 PM

This is amazing, Ron. I expect and always receive greatness each time I read your work...but goodness, Sir, you have out done yourself with this piece.

Patricia

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

16 posted 2004-01-20 07:51 PM

I must find that picture
For it is her
Created to remind me
How our life is colored.

And how I am always
Shades of you
Chi Mae

And, Capt. Ron, Sir...you just painted another
picture with your words. Excellent writing, as always.

scorpio
Member Ascendant

since 2002-10-02

Posts 5178
right...there

17 posted 2004-01-20 08:17 PM

Inspired writing Ron!!

believe in what your heart feels...

iliana
Member Patricius

since 2003-12-05

Posts 13434
USA

18 posted 2004-01-20 09:13 PM

Cpat Hair -- this was an amazing journey you took me on, and outstandingly written! Just amazing!

Duncan
Member Ascendant

since 2001-08-07

Posts 5455

19 posted 2004-01-20 11:33 PM

"It reminded me of how
My orchid and I laughed and cried
At the beauty of our flowers
Our girls as they dressed bright
And played together in the sun

It reminded me of the way she
brushed herself on me
and left me a part of the bloom she is"

Where most would see only a picture...you see stories waiting to be told. Be as humble as ya want bud, no one tells 'em quite like you.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

20 posted 2004-01-21 04:07 AM

thank you for the mood

Terrina
Member

since 2003-12-31

Posts 166
California

21 posted 2004-01-21 11:19 AM

Wow,
I love the imagery. You are incredible.

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