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choshi
Senior Member

since 2004-01-01

Posts 1184
New York

0 posted 2004-01-18 08:38 AM

Oh such yearnings
they torment my burning heart;
this endless wait-
time passes, day and night blur,
still no footprints cross the snow.

~C

J.Samm
Member

since 2004-01-12

Posts 415
Iloilo City, Philippines

1 posted 2004-01-18 08:47 AM

"still no footprints cross the snow"... triggers my imagination. sad but splendid!

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

2 posted 2004-01-18 08:48 AM

Choshi, ahh this evokes a beautiful, even though very melancholic image.
In just a few lines you were able to convey this painful yearning.
Well done!
Love, Margherita

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-19

Posts 7392
Ohio

3 posted 2004-01-18 09:10 AM

Oh such yearnings
they torment my burning heart;
this endless wait-
time passes, day and night blur,
still no footprints cross the snow.

listening for his heart
the night is long
in expectation
sadly he never arrived

i hear you loud and clear on this, choshi

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

4 posted 2004-01-18 08:46 PM

Your poem is sadly beautiful and very moving.
Enjoyed, choshi~

iliana
Member Patricius

since 2003-12-05

Posts 13434
USA

5 posted 2004-01-18 08:50 PM

you have painted a still scene; frozen a space in time with your words -- that is exactly how the waiting feels.

muted

Member Elite

since 2004-01-15

Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving

6 posted 2004-01-19 11:45 AM

i just finished reading "she calls out" and this one just added to the feeling the last one left....as i said before, i feel the chill in this...but it is beautiful.

choshi
Senior Member

since 2004-01-01

Posts 1184
New York

7 posted 2004-01-20 03:22 AM

J.Samm:
"still no footprints cross the snow"... triggers my imagination. sad but splendid!

Thannk you, J, what evolves from imagination?

In just a few lines you were able to convey this painful yearning.
Well done!
Love, Margherita

Thank you for your kind words, ~M, its very nice to be meeting you ~C

inkedgoddess wrote:

listening for his heart
the night is long
in expectation
sadly he never arrived

i hear you loud and clear on this, choshi

this winter night,
balm of lovers,
bane of the forlorn...~C

BluesSerenade

...sadly beautiful and very moving.
Enjoyed, choshi~

Thank you blue....~C

iliana

you have painted a still scene; frozen a space in time with your words -- that is exactly how the waiting feels.

Iliana, We both know this wait: so bittersweet - the comfort of feeling understood...~C

muted  wrote:
....as i said before, i feel the chill in this...but it is beautiful.

Thank you Muted.  Well, it is winter in this little corner of the world   ) ~C

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