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Open Poetry #30
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choshi
Senior Member
since 2004-01-01
Posts 1184
New York

0 posted 2004-01-18 08:38 AM



Oh such yearnings
they torment my burning heart;
this endless wait-
time passes, day and night blur,
still no footprints cross the snow.
  
~C


© Copyright 2004 Paul C. Cooper - All Rights Reserved
J.Samm
Member
since 2004-01-12
Posts 415
Iloilo City, Philippines
1 posted 2004-01-18 08:47 AM


"still no footprints cross the snow"... triggers my imagination. sad but splendid!
Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
2 posted 2004-01-18 08:48 AM


Choshi, ahh this evokes a beautiful, even though very melancholic image.
In just a few lines you were able to convey this painful yearning.
Well done!
Love, Margherita

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
3 posted 2004-01-18 09:10 AM




Oh such yearnings
they torment my burning heart;
this endless wait-
time passes, day and night blur,
still no footprints cross the snow.
  
listening for his heart
the night is long
in expectation
sadly he never arrived

i hear you loud and clear on this, choshi

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
4 posted 2004-01-18 08:46 PM


Your poem is sadly beautiful and very moving.
Enjoyed, choshi~

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
5 posted 2004-01-18 08:50 PM


you have painted a still scene; frozen a space in time with your words -- that is exactly how the waiting feels.    
muted
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving
6 posted 2004-01-19 11:45 AM


i just finished reading "she calls out" and this one just added to the feeling the last one left....as i said before, i feel the chill in this...but it is beautiful.
choshi
Senior Member
since 2004-01-01
Posts 1184
New York
7 posted 2004-01-20 03:22 AM


J.Samm:  
"still no footprints cross the snow"... triggers my imagination. sad but splendid!

Thannk you, J, what evolves from imagination?


In just a few lines you were able to convey this painful yearning.
Well done!
Love, Margherita

Thank you for your kind words, ~M, its very nice to be meeting you ~C


inkedgoddess wrote:

listening for his heart
the night is long
in expectation
sadly he never arrived

i hear you loud and clear on this, choshi

this winter night,
balm of lovers,
bane of the forlorn...~C




BluesSerenade

...sadly beautiful and very moving.
Enjoyed, choshi~

Thank you blue....~C


iliana

you have painted a still scene; frozen a space in time with your words -- that is exactly how the waiting feels.

Iliana, We both know this wait: so bittersweet - the comfort of feeling understood...~C


muted  wrote:
....as i said before, i feel the chill in this...but it is beautiful.

Thank you Muted.  Well, it is winter in this little corner of the world   ) ~C



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