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Open Poetry #30
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LiquidMidnight
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since 2003-09-24
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0 posted 2004-01-15 08:14 PM


Lullaby from a Nylon-Stringed Guitar

Meet me tonight, at the withered ends of bliss
So I may muse from the lyrical arias that weep from
     your kiss
But then I would stir all the melodies lying dormant
     in your head
Touching the memory of someone who’s so
    beautifully vulnerable, reminding them that their
    soul was once dead

Entwine all of the abstract voicings
That they may play mordant across your nape
In the shape
On the crepe
Stealing away the shards of Segovia’s tears, that
     strings have never shed

And after the dream-time pop has burnt itself from
     the skies
I will lament on the mascara that tainted all of those
     nocturnes in your eyes

BTW, I'm aware that I used "beautifully" as an adjective and not properly as an adverb.

© Copyright 2004 LiquidMidnight - All Rights Reserved
Marge Tindal
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Florida's Foreverly Shores
1 posted 2004-01-15 08:47 PM


LiquidMidnight~
This is absolutely BEAUTIFUL~
BEAUTIFULLY done~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram
         noles1@totcon.com

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
2 posted 2004-01-15 10:00 PM


Given the content and kismet of the write...I wasn't distracted by the beautifully as much as the beauty.
Great write.
TD

LiquidMidnight
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3 posted 2004-01-15 11:34 PM


Thank you.
Midnitesun
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Gaia
4 posted 2004-01-16 12:31 PM


Wow, what a cool write, liquid music.
iliana
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5 posted 2004-01-16 12:46 PM


Great use of the English language in a musical composition!
Kaoru
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where the wild flowers grow
6 posted 2004-01-16 12:53 PM


I'm speechless...

that is a first.

LiquidMidnight
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since 2003-09-24
Posts 50

7 posted 2004-01-16 01:15 AM


From Iliana: Great use of the English language in a musical composition!

(to bad the board doesn't have a "quote" command   )

Thank you, but it's not really a musical composition.  

I really just used music as a vehicle for the poem. Guitar players have always been romanticized so I thought about using guitar as the motif. I chose to portray a classical/flamenco guitarist because of the attention to technique. (sexual association with the hands of course) Anyone can crank a Marshall and play loud, but it takes subtle detail of the hands to play a nylon stringed guitar well.

And I'm starting to go off on a tangent so I'll be quit now. *LOL*

steavenr
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since 2003-11-17
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8 posted 2004-01-16 01:26 AM


Personally, I think you used the word beautifully correctly.  How vulnerable--beautifully vulnerable...sounds like correct usage to moi.

What I really liked was the phrase "withered ends of bliss".  Nice...very nice.  I'll do you one better on usage...that phrase is fragilly exquisite.  Find that one in the dictionary.  

Kristin Eve
Member
since 2004-01-13
Posts 89
On, Canada
9 posted 2004-01-16 01:33 AM


"And after the dream-time pop has burnt itself from
     the skies
I will lament on the mascara that tainted all of those
     nocturnes in your eyes"

your poem is beautiful.
Thank you for sharing.

By the way... i really like the rythm of this poem

"Who you are speaks so loudly...I can hardly hear what you are saying"

Kaoru
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where the wild flowers grow
10 posted 2004-01-16 01:34 AM


My significant other plays the classical guitar (among other various instruments), and I've noticed the complexities of it. I think the metaphor is exquisite, all things considered. I know I commented on this once before but, this poem is brilliantly written. It did remind me of the first time I met him and he played my guitar. I, of course being so shut in, was in awe. The guitar IS a very seductive instrument.

Anyway, I'll shush now, just had to put in my two cents.

LiquidMidnight
Member
since 2003-09-24
Posts 50

11 posted 2004-01-16 01:53 AM


I definatly agree that the guitar is a seductive instrument. (But by saying that are you implying that the bagpipes are not seductive? ) I'm a professional musician (a bassist actually) so I try to be pretty intune with the dexterity/sexual association with playing a stringed instrument. (horns also have an obvious seductive quality, but I think they respresent intercourse more where I guitar can be associated with foreplay) Well, I'm going to quit responding to this thread because I feel like I'm unfairly bumping it to the top when I do.
passing shadows
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displaced
12 posted 2004-01-16 03:45 AM


use words whatever way you want...this is awesome!
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