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Open Poetry #30
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alan6501
Member
since 2004-01-03
Posts 89
PA

0 posted 2004-01-14 11:32 PM


I scream, you scream
We all scream for meaning

Sometimes I have only a single purpose
This is to love you via intensity
Look up my name in the dictionary
It will show a picture of you

*And little tiny me*

I scream, you scream
We all scream for meaning

Frightening crevices of my need-need-need
Oh how annoying it can be to be me!
I want to make you feel loved
Or is it I want to make you love me?
(both)

I scream, you scream
We all scream for meaning

My voice shall never die
As the words shall never cease to surface
I scream the loudest
Cause it’s the least you deserve

I scream desperately, you scream defensively
We should silence one another’s screams

PS: You are my meaning

(Nobody should ever feel this needy…)


****************************************************

I like how this one turned out. It's one of my more unique poems. By the way, where it says "little tiny me" the text should by much smaller of a font. This adds a cool effect to the poem (at least at I thoought it did!) Anywasy, what do you guys think?


© Copyright 2004 Alan B. Stallsmith - All Rights Reserved
the_loner_23
Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479
Jacksonville, Florida, USA
1 posted 2004-01-15 12:13 PM


This is a very interesting poem. But I liked it.

Cold hands means a warm heart

Michelle_loves_Mike
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2003-12-20
Posts 1189
Pennsylvania
2 posted 2004-01-15 07:37 AM


A wee bit intense....and, forgive me but,  

"I scream, you scream
We all scream for meaning"

made me think of the icecream song......
Over all, well done,,,,,,,
one thing?....In life, you will learn, as we all do,,,,,you cannot make someone love you,,,
Take Care
Michelle

I wish all could find the true happiness I have found,,in the eyes of Mike

alan6501
Member
since 2004-01-03
Posts 89
PA
3 posted 2004-01-15 01:19 PM


Thanks for the constructive critiscism guys!

Anywho, regarding your comment, Michelle loves Mike. I actually was using the ice cream song as my basis but I just wanted to try to use it in a different way. Obviously, because this poem wasn't about ice cream!! LOL. Anyway, you are right. You can't make somebody love you and I don't know-sometimes I just get in these moods where I want to force people to be in "good graces" with me. I wrote this one a little bit after writing MICHELLE and I was stilll upset about Michelle being angry with me. So she was my muse you can say.

Once again, thanks for the feedback.

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