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Open Poetry #30
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| Open Poetry #30 |
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stevebrklynnyc Member
since 2004-01-04
Posts 292GA, Camden 
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A smile from far away No connection could ever be Our souls never knowing where it would lead Each one in denial Only to regret the time we spent away Hoping one would make the sacrifice Neither one could comitt Years of despair make us strong Years make us leary A new begining Hope is strong Take a chance on love Life is short and unforgiving A lake frosted over Clear as day Emotions run deep Like ice on a lake Reflections are forever Ice is cold and harsh Love is forever This poem is stictly love based and meant for one person only. She knows where I am coming from. I know it may kind of suck, but it doesnt matter because she will know where I am coming from. Thank you for the honest responses. Steve. P.S. I am still new at this so give me some le-way, Thanx, Steve  |
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| © Copyright 2004 Stephen Capp - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Nahgied New Member
since 2004-01-11
Posts 9 |
i prefered this when read backwards:| nice job |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
Nahgied I agree with you... love it read in reverse...especially the first line becoming the ending M (Steve, I was hoping the person it was meant for would have responded before I did, but since someone else already has I thought it ok now...) |
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stevebrklynnyc Member
since 2004-01-04
Posts 292GA, Camden |
Thank you all for the reply. I really appreciate the feedback. I am still learning on how to write poetry. God knows it is not easy. I will try harder. Thanks for the input! |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Tried it backwards, too, and have to agree. Nice write. |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
backwards works, but it looses I think the intended meaning if constructed that way. As is it follows a time line of sorts, with events and decision ending in the last lines. If you are just learning to write..or wanting to learn more, I'd suggest two things.. 1. Read all you can of those poets who you like and see how and why you like what they do. 2.write... make yourself write if it is not yet a drive inside that gives you no choice. the old addage that practice makes perfect has merit... I know looking back at the things I wrote when I started I sometimes wonder now..what was I doing? what was I thinking? practice does that to us... makes us ask and see our own... now.. the poem itself makes sense..and since it is personal in nature and intended for one person.. I'd say you did a good job... frontwards... there is enough backwards in the world as is..lol.. |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
Frontwards or backwards....still holds significant meaning...at least to me...does that mean I am the lucky winner? love you  (And for those of you that read backwards...what made you think to do that?..lol) "if you won't let me fall for you |
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