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Open Poetry #30

DavePage
Member Elite

since 2003-12-21

Posts 2917

0 posted 2004-01-12 05:02 PM

As we write
a dream
My peace is silence
But I can not hold my peace
And I can not hold my silence
Taking the sun shining as I smell the grass
The crack of willow on bat
The fancy dress of old fashioned England
Playing cricket for te
And in loving become
Something I don’t know
I can place my head in your lap
Dreaming of ice cream melting
On cornets blowing trumpet voluntary
To desire
Our written love affair
Melting papers tucked with ribbons
In the fire
Of the lies and truth
We desire

Sadelite
Member Elite

since 2003-10-11

Posts 2519

1 posted 2004-01-12 05:08 PM

Very beautiful, Dave.  Incredible!  In the  you smoothly presented me peace for a while.
I loved the gentle flow of this!
    As we write
    a dream
    My peace is silence
    But I can not hold my peace
    And I can not hold my silence
    Taking the sun shining as I smell the
       grass

               Sadelite

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-02-22

Posts 9353
Michigan, USA

2 posted 2004-01-12 05:11 PM

Quite well done...
The flow was wonderful...the undertone like a fine silk skirt.
TD

DavePage
Member Elite

since 2003-12-21

Posts 2917

3 posted 2004-01-18 04:38 PM

Thanks for your words

I was surprised at your reaction to be honest

I should really back off at some time and go through everything I have re-written never mind what I haven't gone through but thank you

Dave

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