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Open Poetry #30
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Greeneyes
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

0 posted 2004-01-11 01:46 PM



{So this page is yours
for the  pleasure of touching}



soon dawn will slide
      from the over hangs
of these ice walls

Even tonight
      I paint    images of
a green mirror   --
as if the only strokes--
   were of my being alone
would gaze my eyes

It is one version    to show
his     blues eyes --   the piano player  
    the moon hits full
on shoulders     that vanish among
waves    in a veiled mist

trace one finger of silver
      along the edge    ofspace


   winds blow,

long after dark
      for stars
already wished upon

{sleepless}

open palms
   water rises to meet me

I have no thoughts left:

only faint echoes
of catching butterflies --
     endless hands
through     amber skies

your face    sketched  in blacks and grays
       wake me in your dreams --
pretend    you love me    
for the sake of fire&water

         kiss the images of    tears,
on nights velvet eyelids
I flow in    emeralds   woven        tones

my heart needs rest


all this rain --
remains    oceans music:

{so this page belongs to you
   for the pleasure of      touch}

this is life:

  empty


~*~
In your light I learn how to love
In your beauty how to make poems
You dance inside my chest where
no one sees you and that sight becomes art

[This message has been edited by Greeneyes (01-12-2004 04:41 PM).]

© Copyright 2004 Lauren~ - All Rights Reserved
Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
1 posted 2004-01-11 02:17 PM






(big hugggsssssss) As always your poetry deeply touches my heart whether it makes me smile or cry, and you are the artist who creates these special colors, yay! (kiss on cheek) God Bless You, sweet friend, yay, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Lauren, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"You'll find something that's enough to keep you
But if the bright lights don't receive you
You should turn yourself around and come back home" MB20

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

2 posted 2004-01-11 02:56 PM


"your face    sketched  in blacks and grays
       wake me in your dreams --
pretend    you love me    
for the sake of fire&water
         kiss the images of    tears,
on nights velvet eyelids
I flow in    emeralds   woven        tones

my heart needs rest


all this rain --
remains    oceans music:"


I know the tune...

This reminds me of a B/W photo I have on my desk, taken on a rainy day at the gulf.  Very cool write as always Lauren.  

DavePage
Member Elite
since 2003-12-21
Posts 2917

3 posted 2004-01-11 08:56 PM


Excellent

Lovely use of multiple images and a poem within a poem.

Dave

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
4 posted 2004-01-11 09:02 PM


       "wake me in your dreams --
pretend    you love me    
for the sake of fire&water
         kiss the images of    tears,
on nights velvet eyelids"


Fantastic write Lauren...
Love ya pretty lady.
Hugs~

    In the midst of winter..
I found there lives within me,
    an invincible summer.

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

5 posted 2004-01-12 09:05 AM


trace one finger of silver
      along the edge    ofspace

   winds blow,

long after dark
      for stars
already wished upon

{sleepless}

open palms
   water rises to meet me

I have no thoughts left:


may you always have thoughts my friend.. and may you always share them with us.

I'm always touched when I read your words, and always left a bit in awe, as well as feeling the mystery...


Kahlil
Senior Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 1881

6 posted 2004-01-12 09:10 AM


"trace one finger of silver
      along the edge    of space

   winds blow,

long after dark
      for stars
already wished upon

{sleepless}

what an incredible write, Greeneyes, filled with imagery and emotion...  I'm saving this one...  ~K~

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
7 posted 2004-01-13 08:09 PM


GreenEyes~
As lovely as ever ... maybe more so~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram
         noles1@totcon.com

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
8 posted 2004-01-13 11:12 PM


The watercolored canvases you create are most interesting to read!
Saunni
Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 1777
West Virginia
9 posted 2004-01-14 12:48 PM


This is breathtaking! I have to shake my head in awe! I love it... I hope you are ok though.

Sauni:)The Only Time I See The Sun Is When I'm Within That Vanilla Breeze.The Only Time I'm One With The Sun Is When He Shelters Me From The Rain.

Aimster
Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC
10 posted 2004-01-14 08:57 AM


lauren-

as always, outstanding, this piece is
so rich in emotion, it touches to the
very core...and though it is aching and
sad, it is also powerful and shows
strength...i am in awe as i am often
upon reading you!

"only faint echoes
of catching butterflies --
     endless hands
through     amber skies"

this is beyond any doubt some of the
most beautiful imagery i've ever had
the pleasure to read. brilliant!

love ya girlie,
amy

"When life gives you sorrow, may you experience the spirit of laughter"

Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
11 posted 2004-01-14 09:44 AM


If I keep reading your poetry I'm going to have to buy a dictionary of superlatives, that's all there is to it!

The way you capture images and the dimensions behind them is incredible (he said, after vainly searching for a better word).....

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Opeth
Senior Member
since 2001-12-13
Posts 1543
The Ravines
12 posted 2004-01-14 11:45 AM


"Even tonight
      I paint    images of
a green mirror   --
as if the only strokes--
   were of my being alone
would gaze my eyes"


~ It was difficult for me to pick one stanza as my favorite, but it is not difficult for me to know this... I would like to know Lauren's thought process as she writes poems, such as this one.

Clearly enjoyed...

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

13 posted 2004-01-14 11:48 AM


I dont have to tell you that I love it, cuz you already know it...
but I do and I will tell you...
I LOVE IT.  

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
14 posted 2004-01-14 11:48 AM


Touched...indeed.
Thank you, Lauren.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
15 posted 2004-01-14 12:58 PM


this is so beautiful and sad...just the way I like them

you touch my heart girl

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

16 posted 2004-01-16 10:38 AM


It is one version    to show
his     blues eyes --   the piano player  
    the moon hits full
on shoulders     that vanish among
waves    in a veiled mist

trace one finger of silver
      along the edge    ofspace

   winds blow,

long after dark
      for stars
already wished upon

{sleepless}

open palms
   water rises to meet me

I have no thoughts left:

only faint echoes
of catching butterflies --
     endless hands
through     amber skies

your face    sketched  in blacks and grays
       wake me in your dreams --
pretend    you love me    
for the sake of fire&water
         kiss the images of    tears,
on nights velvet eyelids
I flow in    emeralds   woven        tones

my heart needs rest


all this rain --
remains    oceans music:

{so this page belongs to you
   for the pleasure of      touch}
this is life:

  empty

======================

I would find a way to read you blind...touch the words etched in gold leaf braille...
for in the end...I am the one who is so gratefully touched.   

Nature poets can't walk across the backyard without tripping over an epiphany.

Christian Wiman

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