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Open Poetry #30
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Philmont
Member
since 2004-01-10
Posts 61


0 posted 2004-01-11 02:51 AM


I set myself down and looked into the sky
above this reddened alien land and saw
again my giver of life, as the sun rose high.
'Twas the very same firey sphere
you know at home, but the cold still kills
and that's why I am your ambassidor here.
I'm glad I made it and happier still to tell
you all about the reddish world I see
and let you know that all is going well.

© Copyright 2004 Phillip R. Montgomery - All Rights Reserved
Greeneyes
Deputy Moderator 50 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
1 posted 2004-01-11 11:20 AM


Hi, and Welcome to Passions.  We are glad you have joined our circle of friends, and family….


Interesting first post....!

please check your email for a special greeting


Kindly

Greeneyes~

~*~
In your light I learn how to love
In your beauty how to make poems
You dance inside my chest where
no one sees you and that sight becomes art

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
2 posted 2004-01-11 11:25 AM


Welcome to Passions!
Enjoyed your first post..
I look forward to seeing more of your work.
~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~

    In the midst of winter..
I found there lives within me,
    an invincible summer.

Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
3 posted 2004-01-11 11:30 AM


A new landing...and a good first deployment....hope you have a fine time roving these blue pages.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
4 posted 2004-01-11 12:56 PM


cool rhyme scheme! Neat write!

Welcome to Passions!

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
5 posted 2004-01-11 01:01 PM


Welcome to Passions...
Enjoyed your first post.
ThisDiamond

Philmont
Member
since 2004-01-10
Posts 61

6 posted 2004-01-11 06:29 PM


Hey, thank's guys!  It's kinda cool to see so many people into poetry!  Keep up the good work everybody, and thanks for liking my poem.  
Greeneyes
Deputy Moderator 50 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
7 posted 2004-01-12 12:57 PM


~*~
In your light I learn how to love
In your beauty how to make poems
You dance inside my chest where
no one sees you and that sight becomes art

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
8 posted 2004-01-12 10:58 AM






(smiles) Yay for the Mars Rover, yay, I too dream for the future when we can see all beyond our own abode Earth! This is a clestially beautiful debut, I love it!Welcome to Passions, sweet Phillip, may you be inspired by all of us here as we will all be inspired by your lovely words! I can't wait to read more of your wonderful words, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Phillip, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"You'll find something that's enough to keep you
But if the bright lights don't receive you
You should turn yourself around and come back home" MB20

McLean
Member
since 2004-01-05
Posts 484
state of marital bliss
9 posted 2004-01-12 11:53 AM


  I have already given the rover a personality, and I heard his voice when I read your words.  This is cool.

~McLean

Sadelite
Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519

10 posted 2004-01-12 08:45 PM


Philmount,
   Welcome to Piptalk.  We're glad to have you here!  I enjoyed your first post very much.  I liked the point of view from which you wrote this and look forward to many more creative postings.
                   Sadelite

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
11 posted 2004-01-12 11:36 PM


Phimont -- welcome to PIP.  Enjoyed this!
fractal007
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958

12 posted 2004-01-17 09:41 PM


Philmont:

I like your little poem, and I'm sorry I'm late in commenting on it.  

It is a quaint little piece, but it is not without spelling errors and the rhyme scheme is a little weak in places.  Ambassador.  lol.

Your personification of the Mars rover is indeed a good idea.  I will not be surprised if such things as the message you've enclosed in this poem do indeed come to fruition in the future.  Perhaps we will have AI probes with personalities in the near future.  

Keep up the good work, Phil!

2+2=5 for sufficiently large values of 2
--Smit
My Creations

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