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Open Poetry #30
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ice
Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404
Pennsylvania

0 posted 2004-01-11 07:20 AM



Reckless: children's voices shrill
And din, bloom like winter flowers
Filling now the empty vessel of the room;
Where just a while ago still-silence, brimmed
The coat-room to its ceiling full.
*
They Clump and bump in leaps and bounds,
Boots  fall to the pantry floor.
Runny noses, rosy cheeks and laughing sounds
Overflowing coat-hooks, cold hands, crying;
Mother shouting orders "close the door!"
*
Winter scent escapes from snow-wet
Mittens, wooly caps, on brass hooks that
Lads and lasses, soaked while having fun...  
Side by side their wraps embrace,
Dripping as they thaw from rays that raise,
From dull and gray ribbed-iron suns;
Whose shuttle cocks sing out a steamy song
In hissing whispers calling children in
To hide, for just a while from winter...
*
Mother remembers her dear mothers ways;
And floats white-candy boats on heated chocolate
When the waifs seek out a refuge from the burmal
Seas of weather, and her children
Shore-leave home, from frosty play.
*
end

© Copyright 2004 ford hume - All Rights Reserved
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

1 posted 2004-01-11 07:26 AM


I'd like to resist the urge of commentary on the poem, because you wrote this, as I love to read it--the power in the ending--


Mother remembers her dear mothers ways;
And floats white-candy boats on heated chocolate
When the waifs seek out a refuge from the burmal
Seas of weather, and her children
Shore-leave home, from frosty play.


sigh...

I wish my cup had melting marshmallows now.
Perhaps I'd find visions such as these...



I'll be looking at this one again, m'friend. Very artfully crafted.

ice
Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404
Pennsylvania
2 posted 2004-01-11 07:53 AM


Serenity..(oh I do like your nic....:-))
Thank you for the nice comments...I wrote this a while ago, the winter weather reminded me of it, I lived this scene once a long time ago...there are no embelishments here, just pure truths....(well, with a little metaphor added for seasoning...lol)
Peace.......
_________ice
   ><>

Paul Wilson
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Member Elite
since 2002-07-07
Posts 4711
United States
3 posted 2004-01-11 10:39 AM


Ice...Enjoyed very much. The visions created thru your words remind me of younger days. Thanks for sharing...Paul

"To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you"

Nightshade
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Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
4 posted 2004-01-11 11:51 AM


Winter scent escapes from snow-wet
Mittens, wooly caps, on brass hooks that
Lads and lasses, soaked while having fun...  
Side by side their wraps embrace,


Memories..memories. Thankyou for this ice. I really enjoy reading your writings. Chris

"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know
that your name is safe in their mouth." Billy - age 4



    

froggy
Senior Member
since 2003-06-23
Posts 1893
Michigan
5 posted 2004-01-11 12:01 PM


Only 2 words can I say.......
LOVE IT.

:-)

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
6 posted 2004-01-11 12:53 PM


excellently done! what a piece of art!
Seymour Tabin
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since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
7 posted 2004-01-11 01:32 PM


ice
You have coated the bread till the butter drips. Enjoyed.

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

8 posted 2004-01-11 01:44 PM


yes, I agree with the above, written very well...a good read, I enjoyed.
inot2B
Member Elite
since 2000-09-18
Posts 2205
Arkansas
9 posted 2004-01-11 02:06 PM


Oh how I miss the children. Thank you for bringing back a sweet distant memory.
Mistletoe Angel
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Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
10 posted 2004-01-11 02:14 PM




(smiles) Yay! Oh Ford, this is sooooooo heartwarming, sweet friend, though I haven't become a father yet, I can understand how emotional it can be for a moher or father to miss their children so much as they grow! (big angel hugs) God Bless You, sweet friend, I always comfort my parents and tell them even when I begin to follow a life beyond their house that I'll always be with them, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Ford, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"You'll find something that's enough to keep you
But if the bright lights don't receive you
You should turn yourself around and come back home" MB20

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