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ambrya_nell
Junior Member

since 2004-01-11

Posts 28
Ohio

0 posted 2004-01-11 03:35 AM

Hi everyone.. i'm new here.. thought i'd share a poem that sort of describes me right now..
I hope you all like it and I can't wait to read some of your poetry.

I move through days like whispers
Listening to the anguish & whimpers

Lost soul, Bruised faith,
Forgotten to those who've gone astray.

I sneak by with my shining shield
Blinding those quick to turn away

Lost soul, Bruised faith,
Forgotten to those who've gone astray.

I move through life like a sigh,
A soft sound heard by few.

A lost soul with a bruised faith
...forgotten to all except you.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

1 posted 2004-01-11 05:01 AM

great writing!

Welcome to Passions

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

2 posted 2004-01-11 05:56 AM

oooh...welcome!

this had a certain--hmmm..I dunno, I heard celtic music in my head as I read--

you've quite captivated me with this, as it sounds like a liturgy:

"Lost soul, Bruised faith,
Forgotten to those who've gone astray."

I took some significance to the capitalization of the word "bruised" in that, duly noting the lower case exception in your final stanza:

A lost soul with a bruised faith

I love this consideration of language and form to a concise whole.

Nice...

and once again? Welcome.

McLean
Member

since 2004-01-05

Posts 484
state of marital bliss

3 posted 2004-01-11 08:00 AM

Welcome to the forum...I think you'll like it here. Have faith!

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

4 posted 2004-01-11 09:35 AM

AmbryaNell~

'I move through life like a sigh,
A soft sound heard by few.'

This says sooooo much ... I think many of us poets move through life in soft poetic sighs~
BEAUTIFUL THOUGHT~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram
[email protected]

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

5 posted 2004-01-11 09:47 AM

ambrya,
Welcome and enjoyed the read.

ambrya_nell
Junior Member

since 2004-01-11

Posts 28
Ohio

6 posted 2004-01-12 02:45 PM

thank you all again... Yes.. I think most of us move through life that way... I guess the lucky ones are the ones that catch the sigh huh?

Nice to meet you all.

iliana
Member Patricius

since 2003-12-05

Posts 13434
USA

7 posted 2004-01-13 12:14 PM

I heard the whisper! Good writing.

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