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Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

0 posted 2004-01-09 04:17 PM

You have been gone long now
and I stand each morn on way to well
waiting for dust to rise
over top of distant hill
that my hope might find water
to drink in this parched time of absence

You said I was pretty
when at 13 we were wed

do you still these years later
find in me beauty
or do you sleep with the daughters
of the ones who open their houses
as you journey from here
to the sea and back
finding more in there unblemished skin
and thin arms to please you
than there is in me?

I came to this place a child
and miss you now as I did
when at 16 you fought bandits
along the border for months
and I knew not if you would return

Will growing old be this way too
or will you stay on your return
and let the lotus bloom
seduce you to me?

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

1 posted 2004-01-09 04:37 PM

"You have been gone long now
and I stand each morn on way to well
waiting for dust to rise
over top of distant hill
that my hope might find water
to drink in this parched time of absence"

Hope and yet fear of hopelessness...

Perfect blend.

But that is how you always do it.

"if you won't let me fall for you
then you won't see the best that I would love to do for you"
~Dido~

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

2 posted 2004-01-09 04:51 PM

thanks Susan.. hope always has a measure of fear.. and balancing the two, often a difficult thing to do.

appreciate the words... and thanks for the read..

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

3 posted 2004-01-09 11:09 PM

Nice writing...James

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

4 posted 2004-01-10 03:44 AM

growing old...

this write makes me think

Kaoru

Member Elite

since 2003-06-07

Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow

5 posted 2004-01-10 06:59 AM

I don't even know how to respond to this....

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

6 posted 2004-01-10 07:30 AM

A delicate tale. Your writing made me visualize this woman standing there - waiting. Excellent as always Cpat!

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

7 posted 2004-01-10 07:52 AM

I'll have
some of that tea,
please.

The eternal question...
in whose heart
is it ever answered?

Ratleader

Member Rara Avis

since 2003-01-23

Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass

8 posted 2004-01-11 10:32 AM

Sweet....you captured a pretty but wistful spirit here, and showed her clearly but voluptuously, like Vermeer in love.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Duncan
Member Ascendant

since 2001-08-07

Posts 5455

9 posted 2004-01-11 02:40 PM

Perception (or perspective) noted..."alone" translates easily as would any universal emotion.
It'd be interesting to see this taken further, into places more uniquely belonging to this voice. But then, as we so often discuss...I'm easily entertained.

Greeneyes

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-09-09

Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

10 posted 2004-01-12 01:02 AM

I have read this many times, and I cant find the right words....but you already know....

hugsssss
Lauren~

~*~
In your light I learn how to love
In your beauty how to make poems
You dance inside my chest where
no one sees you and that sight becomes art

Copperbell
Senior Member

since 2003-11-08

Posts 956

11 posted 2004-01-12 01:20 AM

I really enjoyed this; it sparked my curiousity as I read - good story

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

12 posted 2004-01-12 03:05 PM

This is magnificent Ron..absolutely!

you're amazing.

I'm keeping it.

M

Beauty of the world which is soon to perish has two edges, one of laughter and one of anguish, cutting the heart asunder.
(by Virginia Woolf)

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

13 posted 2004-01-12 03:26 PM

thank to you all.. for the nice words and for taking time out to read this small offering... your time and kindness are appreciated.

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