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Open Poetry #30
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Snowflake From Hell
Senior Member
since 2003-07-10
Posts 777
My own little Icey Oblivion

0 posted 2004-01-08 05:45 PM


Gave you my heart to keep,
Went for it took the leap.
Broken...
Beaten down I did submit,
To you my life I commit.
Broken...
Miss you when you're away,
Wish you could just stay.
Broken...
Hollow and alone with you not around,
Your voice is no more than a distant sound.
Broken...
All the things that go through my head,
I know what needs to be said.
Broken...
I'm broken...

Can you hear my cries, can you hear my pleads, will you watch me burn...or would you bleed for me?

© Copyright 2004 Kyle - All Rights Reserved
Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
1 posted 2004-01-08 06:31 PM


Gawd this just aches Kyle!
Heart hugs.

    In the midst of winter..
I found there lives within me,
    an invincible summer.

wintertao
Member
since 2003-11-17
Posts 366
Okaloosa Island, FL
2 posted 2004-01-08 06:47 PM


the end-stops sound very forced just for the sake of matching up...
icequeen
Senior Member
since 2001-12-09
Posts 633
FL USA
3 posted 2004-01-08 09:29 PM


It needs to be sung accompanied only by an acoustic guitar. I think the rhythm of it longs to be the beginning lyrics of a song
I like it.

Caroline

the only man worth your tears will never make you cry

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