Open Poetry #30 |
To Become One’s Beloved |
harash Member
since 2003-12-27
Posts 99India |
To Become One’s Beloved She enters one’s heart All alone, As The protective hands of Parents seem Gone. Leaving home with happiness And fear, Arrives to become definitely One’s Dear. She left her dear ones With blessings and good byes, They bid her Farewell With tearfull eyes. ~~~~*HARASH MAHAJAN*©~~~~ |
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© Copyright 2004 Harash Mahajan - All Rights Reserved | |||
Professor Gloom Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082of Depression |
Very nice, Interesting format, but, The first part deviates from the rest, Perhaps to rewrite it as She enters one’s heart As if Lone this fits the setting rhyme as meter you develop. Forgive my picking, A good piece. Gloom |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Just beautiful, Harash! Be well! |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Harash~ Tenderly poignant penning~ *Huglets* ~*Marge*~ ~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost, |
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Michelle_loves_Mike
since 2003-12-20
Posts 1189Pennsylvania |
i like this,,, ,,,as for the way it's written,,,,I follow it,,the arrangement is to emphasise the way it's to be read,,,, Michelle I wish all could find the true happiness I have found,,in the eyes of Mike |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
silky...James |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Very lovely. Margherita |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
A nice view of a marriage. I like it. Nan (Pilgrim variety) |
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McLean Member
since 2004-01-05
Posts 484state of marital bliss |
Excellent story. McLean |
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