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Open Poetry #30
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Just Breathing
| Open Poetry #30 |
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Just Breathing |
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Patricia Member Elite
since 2003-04-06
Posts 2160Missouri 
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From behind this pane, I press my nose to glass, I breathe because I must then exhale hot breath upon a transparent veneer, Hoping to fog what my eyes see The mirror image of what was me You see empirical evidence of my existence, my breath upon the glass, and you count me among the living? For though a heart beats and a breath is breathed, please do not be deceived there is much more unconcealed I felt it once in my smile And while long forgotten now just as the memory of touch a hand upon mine a life line My fingertips chase trace this memory upon a misty pane of what is now, with neither courage nor strength to close my fist and shatter the myth, I remain here at my window Just breathing. |
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| © Copyright 2004 Patricia A. Plotz - All Rights Reserved | |||
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the_loner_23 Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479Jacksonville, Florida, USA |
Strong poem. I liked it. Cold hands means a warm heart |
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Michelle_loves_Mike
since 2003-12-20
Posts 1189Pennsylvania |
there have been a few times in life, that, it is a good thing that breathing is an involuntary response,,, Michelle I wish all could find the true happiness I have found,,in the eyes of Mike |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Such powerful lines, Patricia! My fingertips chase trace this memory upon a misty pane of what is now, with neither courage nor strength to close my fist and shatter the myth, I remain here at my window Love, Margherita |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
An excellent portrayal... you breathe very well! |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Excellent Patricia... very much enjoyed! Hugs~ In the midst of winter.. |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Though not the touch of springtimes past now touch the silk of softest cheek. A woman writes in poet's flair not meant to ward away those meek. And from her quill of treasured keep the words now flow the parchment page in thoughts beyond the shallow deep where lovers wait on center stage. For when the chorus is then sung and last the flute shall trilling sing A bell on high shall then be rung and to one's heart one note shall ring. Sorry, you bring out the beast in me..LOL.. Excellent write Patricia... |
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garysgirl 
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
My fingertips chase trace this memory upon a misty pane of what is now, with neither courage nor strength to close my fist and shatter the myth, I remain here at my window Just breathing. It seemed that I could see the mist from your beathing on the window, Patricia. Very good writing  Hugs  Ethel |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
I have been there |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I like this very much, Patricia... and sometimes, just breathing is enough... even the most shallow breaths allow us to continue existence until we can remember how to live. *S* |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
"You see empirical evidence of my existence, my breath upon the glass, and you count me among the living?" Yes..there are times.. Very well done.  "if you won't let me fall for you |
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steavenr Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058 |
Pat, this is written extremely well. reminds me of the the principle found in this scripture, "For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away." Amazing what be experienced in the duration of a vanishing mist. |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Breathing is good, yes. But, I certainly do understand the point at which this poem was penned. Excellent writing! I agree with all the above comments.........jo |
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McLean Member
since 2004-01-05
Posts 484state of marital bliss |
This speaks of a very strong, very real person, feeling very real life. Much strength here. Enjoyed reading the boldness. McLean |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
It is hardest of all to see the pain of a gentle spirit. I'm glad I read this...and sorry too. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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ambrya_nell Junior Member
since 2004-01-11
Posts 28Ohio |
great imagery.... i really enjoyed this one.. i've felt like that lately actually. Thanx for sharing  |
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Greeneyes
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
I felt it once in my smile And while long forgotten now just as the memory of touch a hand upon mine a life line'' Oh Lady, so many times I have felt this memory of touch....a beautfiul expression....heart hugsssss Lauren~ ~*~ |
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Serra_Avatar Member
since 2004-01-11
Posts 58 |
If only that poem came in a glass. I think it would go down very smooth... nice |
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ambrish Member
since 2003-03-27
Posts 257India |
For though a heart beats and a breath is breathed, please do not be deceived there is much more unconcealed so sad,liked it. |
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Ivy Rose Senior Member
since 2001-12-29
Posts 1300MA, USA |
Patricia...Sad; but beautiful and beautifully written. Powerful images throughout. |
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GG Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532Lost in thought |
I've read this at least five times and in scrolling through the replies I noticed my name wasn't there. I could have sworn it was. I do love this... Always, Alyssa He was a man of sorrows |
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Paul Wilson
since 2002-07-07
Posts 4711United States |
Patrica...Touching poem, enjoyed. Perhaps the image will smile once again...Paul "To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you" |
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