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Open Poetry #30
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wordwizard
Member
since 2003-09-08
Posts 483
on the way to next world

0 posted 2004-01-03 07:25 PM



When you look to mix ordered homes and wild pets
plan a strategy for fractured bones to eventually set
think of Mr.Smart and the agent he sought to foil
or elements added to pot and how they're brought to boil..


Chaos is not just brought on by what we choose
it is also a part of the ordered life we lose;
as we cross the curbs from the early to higher grades
lies a deceptive voice in the shade of the everglades.

Don't talk to strangers...is the bottom line
what may arise...is an upset of the sublime
when attracted to the beauty of perfumed flesh
beware of protracted embraces as odors never stay fresh

Life carries with it the choice to father
it also carries dissension as to why bother
there will arise some disorder in personal harmony
accords will fracture between couples who embellish their litany...

that is the disorder I am most sensitive to
as mated cement crumbles there rests too few;
as bated relationships reveal their darker modes
peaceful auras are forced in transit on chaotic roads.




[This message has been edited by wordwizard (01-04-2004 04:03 PM).]

© Copyright 2004 Martin Dansky - All Rights Reserved
Startime55
Member Elite
since 2003-04-05
Posts 2148
Alberta, Canada
1 posted 2004-01-03 07:31 PM


WOW!! Do you ever have a way with words...I felt a feeling of melancholy thoughout the poem...To me it felt like magic lost....

wordwizard
Member
since 2003-09-08
Posts 483
on the way to next world
2 posted 2004-01-04 03:57 PM


The loss of order in many a life I think is like magic lost..and the gain of it must be like magic accrued.


ecrivan
Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923
my own state
3 posted 2004-01-04 11:53 PM


A bump in time saves nine


passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
4 posted 2004-01-05 02:14 AM


very cool! I love the rhyming!
iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
5 posted 2004-01-05 03:13 AM


Lots of insight expressed in a captivating way -- I would like to see more verses added to this poem -- it would make a good epic!  But, then again, it is good just the way it is, too!
Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
6 posted 2004-01-05 02:08 PM


Well done!  I look forward to some more...

"if you won't let me fall for you
then you won't see the best that I would love to do for you"
~Dido~

wordwizard
Member
since 2003-09-08
Posts 483
on the way to next world
7 posted 2004-01-10 01:24 AM


Hello Susan

There should be more...but there is a question of quality I am keen on keeping...


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