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Open Poetry #30
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THE DANCE
| Open Poetry #30 |
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THE DANCE |
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alan6501 Member
since 2004-01-03
Posts 89PA |
THE DANCE I am not good at dancing And I sometimes choke on what I do But I am good at loving And that’s why I love you I am not always the best judge When it comes to making peace But I am loyal and truthful And the desire will never cease I know I sometimes want too much And it never seems enough But I have felt your heartbeat And I yearn for your touch I know the future’s murky And we don’t know what’s in store But our hands are held together And the fear should be no more I want to learn each part of you And everything in between But we are perfect just right now And I love what I have seen I am not good at expressing My feelings in a poem But I can try my hardest As long as I’m not alone I am not good at dancing And I sometimes choke on what I do But I am good at loving And that’s why I love you -Alan Stallsmith Tell me what you guys think! |
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| © Copyright 2004 Alan B. Stallsmith - All Rights Reserved | |||
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ambrish Member
since 2003-03-27
Posts 257India |
iam not good at expressing My feelings in a poem But I can try my hardest As long as I’m not alone but you have done extremely well in expressing ur feelings. nice write |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
I can feel this is from your heart...good write |
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alan6501 Member
since 2004-01-03
Posts 89PA |
Thank you for the feedback! It's part of what makes poetry interesting-seeing what others think of your work. I'm going try posting a few more of mine as well. |
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wickedbeautifulpoetry Member
since 2004-01-03
Posts 84Indiana, USA |
this is a great poem! -katie- |
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xela Junior Member
since 2004-01-03
Posts 13 |
extremely sweet. I liked how you brought it full circle by repeating the first part, and i especially like the "choke on what i do" line--awesome image. |
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Michelle_loves_Mike
since 2003-12-20
Posts 1189Pennsylvania |
I like the way you put it,,,it's worth trying your best,,when you're not alone,,,,if we are alone? why bother? good stuff Michelle I wish all could find the true happiness I have found,,in the eyes of Mike |
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Shlee Member
since 2003-02-16
Posts 72USA |
Very well done. I really love this. You communicate very well. Definitely keep at it. |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
You don't have to be good at everything... perfection is highly overrated. *G* But you ARE good at expressing! *S* I like this very much! *S* |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
It's best you're good at expressing yourself.. Anyone can fake dancing.  Hugs~ In the midst of winter.. |
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garysgirl 
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
I am not good at dancing And I sometimes choke on what I do But I am good at loving And that’s why I love you Alan, this is a really neat poem. I like to read poems that rhyme.  Hugs  Ethel |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
"Tell me what you guys think!" I think you have great potential, and you have gone a good distance toward realizing it fully. You're going to be one of our best if you keep this up. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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