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Open Poetry #30
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Abandonment
| Open Poetry #30 |
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Abandonment |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California 
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The soft place my heart, blue and green clear eyed, my son, counts the letters in the word abandonment and though it is covered with the gauze of years it hits me and I realize when it was; he was just a young soccer player with the grace within his limbs of tall grass in wind. (not that I didn’t always know, but time moves on to other things) He, a jump into the air, no despair, his foot an angle just to crease the edge of air and touch the mark of ball. And I was so intent on covering him with watching, listening and his own worth that I didn’t completely see the hole his dad had left that bled. and now so far distant from that time, he eases out the word within a phone call touched, “abandonment” sent me back to the chain link fence where is dad, high on drugs to keep him from dealing his one defense, his eyes unfocused on the son who leaped in front of game he won. To please him, yes it would be that, for there was never enough things that made gold stars to win his father’s hat; not even the path through degrees in psychology took a piece of gain from lack. And so he breathed it out with a word “abandonment” my son with his own children now, seeing himself and how his father talked around his feelings until his family was on a shelf, stacked like books all bound in the head of learned words and knowing how many names escape for what he is, was about to do the same with another generation….don’t touch, don’t weep, don’t declare your heart broken was, that even newborn gifts can’t change the defense that his childhood fit. I can see it again in the child of his who brushes the crumbs from her fingers, knowing that there are some things that can’t be fixed. [This message has been edited by Martie (12-28-2003 12:17 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved | |||
Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
I understand this...I know this... Thanx Martie...a lot of heart within this write...tons of it... |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
OMG, but this is a heartache felt right through this PC screen. I can see her brushing away those crumbs, and feel the pain. I know this scene. |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Martie--I identify with this only from the standpoint of a daughter, not a son, almost down to a T -- I hope old wounds will heal. ....... lol |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
This piece has always been one of my favorites, showing so much of the introspective side of our western lady. Thank you for posting it so everyone can see. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
i enjoyed this "outpouring of emotions", yet dignified, rant. until his family was on a shelf, stacked like books all bound in the head of learned words and knowing how many names escape for what he is, was about to do the same with another generation. don't touch, don't weep, don't declare your heart broken was, that even newborn gifts can't change the defense that his childhood fit. i liked the way how i had to speed-read through this intense paragraph...sorry that you are feeling this way though... hugs |
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows |
This was hard to read, I can not imagine how hard it was to write. It is true that some things once broken can not be fixed; memories, good or bad, are still time gone by; understanding does not always stop the pain. I think it is important to learn young how to navigate friendships so that perhaps a few may provide safe harbor. There may be a point beyond which we become too old to learn. |
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Greeneyes 
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
I cry everytime I read you...its all good....gads a part of me is written through this, I havent faced it yet....hugssssss Lauren~ This morning there’s a calm I can’t explain |
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Honeybunch Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115South Africa |
So sad, Martie, but so beautifully written! Behind each smile a life resides to make us stop and think awhile of how each one of us survive when fate decides it's time to cry! |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Oh Martie .... this goes right into my heart where I try to come to terms with the permanent conflict reigning between my son and his father. There must be a way out ... Deeply touching write. Love and hugs. Margherita |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
...but in his mother, he finds all. Well done, m'sis... |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Martie A part of life my dear we wish never happened. A touching write.  |
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ice Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404Pennsylvania |
Martie Although I have not experienced what this word implies first hand, I now no more about its painful meaning. Thank you for enlightening me, even if it is a sad light.... ______ice ><> |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
This stirs the emotions.  Martie. Maree "I can't believe |
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Goodknight Member Elite
since 2002-06-15
Posts 2386Ohio, USA |
Martie - you reveal an aching heart and a hurting spirit in this poem. You write so powerfully of the realities of the real world - so very well done and so full of you and your spirit - loved this - Paul |
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