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Open Poetry #30

Lost Under The Surface

Snowflake From Hell
Senior Member

since 2003-07-10

Posts 777
My own little Icey Oblivion

0 posted 2004-01-02 05:42 PM

Every step that I take,
Every move that I make,
Is another mistake to you.
I'm lost under the surface.
Every second I waist,
Every minute gone by I can't taste,
Is to you just another "twist of fate".
I'm lost under the surface.
I've become so numb,
Don't you see I'm not so dumb?
I can't be what you want me to be,
I'm lost under the surface.
A failure is all you can see,
There's more to me than what your eyes see.
I'm becoming less, cant be what you want me to be.
I'm lost under the surface....

RE-FUSE-TO COMPLY WE'RE TRYIN TO DO THIS OUR OWN WAY and now I'm watchin the fallen stars surroundin me 15 minutes of fame -SKINLAB-

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

1 posted 2004-01-02 06:03 PM

You can't be what someone else wants you to be.
You can only be yourself and be loved for the man you are.
Excellent write.
Hugs~

In the midst of winter..
I found there lives within me,
an invincible summer.

DavePage
Member Elite

since 2003-12-21

Posts 2917

2 posted 2004-01-02 07:30 PM

Rsponding to a poem is never easy

Most people believe that you haven't personally experienced it, you cant be writing it.

First 2 lines are from a song.
Next is the cry for help for being unable to handle something.
Next is the I must do something about it.
Another song line on "Simple Twist of Fate"
Mixing songs, threads and emotions can work but your seeming to hear the words, not the music and the meaning.

Hope you dont mind my words.

Dave

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

3 posted 2004-01-03 12:40 PM

Kyle, I enjoyed reading your poem. I agree
with Nancy that we can't be what someone
else wants us to be. We will never be happy
that way. thanks for sharing your feelings.

Hugs

Ethel

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

4 posted 2004-01-03 05:06 AM

I know both sides of this

either way hurts

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