navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #30 » Views from a Passenger Window
Open Poetry #30
Post A Reply Post New Topic Views from a Passenger Window Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion

0 posted 2003-12-21 05:19 PM




Cranes for Hire stand at inattention,
orange paint peeling from their angled spires.
Eppie’s neon sign spells PIE’s,
man with beer squats against a cinder block wall,
bars on windows, a bar on the corner,
two smokers huddled in the doorway,
graffiti on a passing rail car --
rural murals in robin’s egg blue.

Flashing red, then white, lights flicker past in silence,
no siren’s need,
bodies pour out of the Bud plant,
scent of hops floats up in a stream of steam;
next comes the causeway
we joke that it’s called that just ‘cuz;
landscape becomes paddies painted as wetlands,
white birds posing on small stilts,
egrets with dinner on their minds;

across the bridge into farmland,
suddenly, surprisingly serene,
a fleeting shock of emerald
and bare trees on hillsides,
while along a frontage road,
Eucalypti branches droop,
heavy and dripping with rain.

[This message has been edited by Corinne (12-21-2003 06:07 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 Corinne - All Rights Reserved
Magnus
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
1 posted 2003-12-21 05:46 PM


Cor.

Masterfully written,  the mood so evident in
the words...I felt like I was there for the
ride.  Well done!

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

2 posted 2003-12-21 05:48 PM


Absolutely.

I felt that "highway buzz" reading this--a road trip revealed in your words.

awesome Corinne.

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
3 posted 2003-12-21 05:48 PM


Hi Cor!
This is fantastic...the imagery filled with vivid colour.
Love this very much indeed...well done!

~Let peace begin with me...    

Alicat
Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094
Coastal Texas
4 posted 2003-12-21 05:53 PM


The picture painted here is superb, a true 'slice-of-life' poem simply about things observed. Me liked muchly.
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
5 posted 2003-12-21 05:54 PM


Corinne...You have described so well a place I'm sure I've been.  Remarkable poem!
Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
6 posted 2003-12-21 08:19 PM


Thanks everyone for your kind words!


Core

Sadelite
Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519

7 posted 2003-12-22 12:09 PM


Wow, you covered a lot of images in just a short time--how mood will travel...
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
8 posted 2003-12-22 05:07 AM


I was in the back seat

thanks for the trip

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
9 posted 2003-12-22 07:05 AM


"next comes the causeway
we joke that it’s called that just ‘cuz;"

Gave me a morning smile...thanks.

It's always interesting to see the view through another's eyes.

Thanks, Corinne

M


Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
10 posted 2003-12-22 11:57 AM



...heading home for Christmas...
the passengers always get to see more.

Well done, Corinne.  I took the trip
with you twice.

LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
11 posted 2003-12-22 01:01 PM


Corrine, you forgot to mention Toerag mooning the passersby.  I can understand why.  A sight like that is something the mind automatically shuts out.  I enjoyed the other scenes though.
Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
12 posted 2003-12-22 06:07 PM


Hi Sadelite -- yes, especially as the view changes!

Hi Passing Shadows -- was that you? AM                        

nakdthoughts - thanks! I was worried folks might not get that line! We have a sick habit of talking like that all the time, looking for some word play or another!


Sunshine - took the trip twice, that's more than I could hope for, thank you!

Ah! LngJhn - long time no see! Oh, that Toe! And now they've gone and named a car after him! I did have his mooning in the poem, but remembered this is a "G" rated site! Hehe!

Corinne



Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
13 posted 2003-12-22 09:28 PM


as fast as the car flies Core. . . as fast as the car flies. . .

superb. . .

--------------------------------------------------------------

I am tired . . .

Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
14 posted 2003-12-27 10:19 PM


Thank you Sven!

Corinne

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #30 » Views from a Passenger Window

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary