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Open Poetry #30
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Snow
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 1170
desert flower looking for rain

0 posted 2003-11-24 09:39 PM




sway me smooth

there's
this shudder-brush
       soul-crushing
heaven-decending
consuming passion
that simply wrecks
the very core of
existence
and i
    strong willed
with roots dug deep
have sworn never
to succumb .. and yet
   i fail to catch the
breath as it
    passes from the lungs
as they collapse
   and hissssssssssss
a song...
   we dance to with
fingertips and palms
to flesh
   and thigh to thigh
i linger still and pray
for you to
    sway me smooth

snow©2003
audio reading of Sway Me Smooth MP3


"...why does my skeleton pursue me
if my soul has fallen away?"
~p.neruda

[This message has been edited by Snow (11-24-2003 09:40 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 Snow - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2003-11-24 09:42 PM



You just did...
wow.

Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
2 posted 2003-11-24 10:56 PM


Beauty! A pleasure to read......

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Jes
Member
since 2003-10-21
Posts 422
Denmark
3 posted 2003-11-25 12:30 PM


I liked this

Smile

Jes


Greeneyes
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
4 posted 2003-11-25 10:17 PM


we dance to with
fingertips and palms
to flesh ''''

I love this....!  Reminds me of soft summer nights, in open air.....hugsssss
Lauren~

I had a dream last night
you came to me on silver wings of light
I flew away with you in painted sky
Was it real
Is it what you see,touch or feel

steavenr
Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058

5 posted 2003-11-26 12:39 PM


Loved it from start to finish.  Especially loved your compound imagery.  Very forceful and compelling.  Title really drew me in.
Snow
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 1170
desert flower looking for rain
6 posted 2003-11-26 01:00 AM


thank you all so much for the fantastic comments on this piece !!
steavenr... the piece was written around the title. i'm glad it could get your attention.

snow

"...why does my skeleton pursue me
if my soul has fallen away?"
~p.neruda


passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
7 posted 2003-11-26 03:52 AM


awesome piece! highly enjoyed!
Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

8 posted 2003-11-26 07:49 AM


Totally enjoyed this write, well done. I am looking forward to reading more.
LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

9 posted 2003-11-26 07:55 AM


oh how utterly beautiful!
Edder
Senior Member
since 2003-04-02
Posts 671

10 posted 2003-11-26 01:37 PM


Enjoyed the read, loved the listen!
Snow
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 1170
desert flower looking for rain
11 posted 2003-11-26 02:11 PM


this is the reason i've missed being here..

thank you so much
passing shadows, Gentle Spirit, LeeJ and Edder....

you have all made me feel so good to be writing again. thank you !


Snow

"...why does my skeleton pursue me
if my soul has fallen away?"
~p.neruda


iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
12 posted 2003-12-23 12:42 PM


Snow -- really enjoyed the read and the listen!  Very provocative.
Snow
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 1170
desert flower looking for rain
13 posted 2003-12-30 08:11 PM


thank you !

i'm so pleased you enjoyed this one.
snow

"...why does my skeleton pursue me
if my soul has fallen away?"
~p.neruda


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