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Open Poetry #30
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What I'd Do For You
| Open Poetry #30 |
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What I'd Do For You |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio 
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What I'd do for you: I'd walk miles of broken shells littered on the ocean's gate as they slice upon my fragile feet to swim the sea of love for you, I'd race the wind beside the the harvest moon as darkness comes early and forests grow dim with sunset views blindfolded, I'd race the wind to you, I'd stumble through flowerfields as they die in the arms of autumn, stumble over rocks and scrape my knees on a pile of mud or two picking the last dandelion blowing a kiss of love to you, I'd shave my head go totally bare, these treasured tresses of gleaming gold, and surrender them like paperdolls to the scissor's fold, I'd climb the vines, surpass the sky, line the stars up in a trail to seek you in an eternal find, I'd cut off an arm in a pledge of love so true, but with all said and done, would you, could you, love a one armed bald and dirty girl whose missing a screw or two? [This message has been edited by inkedgoddess (12-16-2003 08:52 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 inkedgoddess - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Goodknight Member Elite
since 2002-06-15
Posts 2386Ohio, USA |
great humor and great poetry - Paul |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
....Hmmmmm.....Which arm? ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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RSEvans Senior Member
since 1999-10-23
Posts 1147Tulsa, OK, USA |
Started off so elloquent and then left me with a smile, a rare treat these days. |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
LOL... I was immersed in identifying with the intense dedication... so the chuckle crept up on me. *S* |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Michele - why I believe I could... BC |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
thanks for reading everyone |
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James_A_Fraser Senior Member
since 2003-09-03
Posts 972Out Making Anticlines |
You seem like a lady who could use a little bumpin' right now! BUMP!! |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
gotta love the bump hate to fade too fast |
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bklynboy Senior Member
since 2002-12-15
Posts 660florida |
Lucky guy.....whoever he is.....this is witty, written with style and one of your best! |
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alan6501 Member
since 2004-01-03
Posts 89PA |
would you, could you, love a one armed bald and dirty girl whose missing a screw or two? That is just too funny of an ending! I loved this poem!!! You have such an eloquent way of wording things and bringing them together. I think that this is something that I need to work on when writing my own poetry. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
I was all serious until the end...lol |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
i dont know, dix or whoever has an opinion, i would like to know, thanks if u got a sec to tell me. what do u think? folks? should i have let it be, without the punch at the end |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
Believe it or not...I have had the "missing a limb" conversation with a loved one... LOL great write! "if you won't let me fall for you |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Inkedgoddess, I was on such a high when you lined the stars up .... ready to scream in sheer delight ... and then .... the arm thing was such a shock that I fainted among the stars! Yes, you are fantastic, but the sacrifices should be kept within reasonable limits .... ok goddesses can mend everything, I guess! Hugs. Margherita  |
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Ravenwolfvoyager Member
since 2003-12-25
Posts 326 |
Me too, totally caught me off guard. Great write. It sounds like you are referring to a manaquin? Am i right? Thank you it was enjoyable!! |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
thanks again, i guess im showing what a fool she is for love, then wanders if he cares one way or the other anyhow after her extremes |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
I kept thinking to myself as I was reading, you don't have to go that far...and of course a man that truly cared would have stopped you right away and a man that didn't could care less what you did or didn't do...James |
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows |
Well...maybe. Which arm? I kinda like the tatoo.  |
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garysgirl 
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Michele, You know what a hopeless romantic I am, and how I love all love poems. I was really caught up in this one, seeing what you were describing. Than, WHAM....I saw a one armed dirty girl who was missing a screw or two...ahahahahahahaha This was just too cute.  Hugs,  Ethel (Pssssttt!!! Michele, you asked if you should have put the punch line on there or not? Well, I think that's what made it really unique. And besides, it made the readers stop and think about if the guy would still love her. Right?) |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
I absolutely loved this! ! ! ! |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
thanks for the insight back into this one |
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Ravenwolfvoyager Member
since 2003-12-25
Posts 326 |
You touched the nail on the head and did it so wonderfully. Thank you inkedgoddess. Your work is captivating. |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
enjoyed |
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kayjay Member Elite
since 2002-06-24
Posts 2015Oregon |
This is a fine write, and the punchline is terrific. I agree with the one who says a man who loved you wouldn't let you go that far and one who didn't wouldn't care. Ken |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
thanks again glad i can make you smile |
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