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Open Poetry #29
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Sunday Mourning
| Open Poetry #29 |
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Sunday Mourning |
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n2dmystic Member
since 2003-09-27
Posts 253beyond the doors of perception |
My kids' mom died from cirrhosis, and hep C. We separated in Dec. 1988. We rekindled the friendship part of our relationship in the last 2 years of her life. This was my Christmas gift to my kids last year. REMINISCENCES OF OUR GRANDKIDS’ GRANDMA in loving memory of Harriet Marrie Settergren (Carreno) Gramma Ree, april 11, 1957 - June 2, 2002 Our grandkids really love my ex-wife and well they should, she gave them life the love goes ‘round, as it’s supposed to and for the love of...who could be opposed to? Lance Joseph, Lansky, LJ, another Joe the Little Warrior with the heart of gold Landen Richard, Lanny, Buggy, Bugs Our Love Bug loved grandma’s hugs Aurea Marrie, our Golden Child She’s got Gramma’s heart, but just mildly wild Kailee Jean, KK, our little JeanBug always ready with a kiss’n’hug Faith Marrie, our new Dark Beauty Gramma knew, but left before she was ready I encourage them to speak of her talk about the love she had to share She died at my daughters home six months past Through all of life, we were together at the last Sixteen years together, this past fourteen not in the Universe we are who we’ve got I left California with our daughter, Montana in our path destined to seek one that finally lasts Years being different, I find something ... Hers being prison, and a same sex wedding “I am me!,” she shouted with rage “you’ll never keep this heart in a cage!” Chemical nursery rhymes providing solace “I ain’t feeling guilty about any choice” Brought together in Montana twelve years hence we fix the damned, again, and mend the fence Me drinking and doping after eleven years one more time, realizing the fears Outdoorsman, on ‘the road hardly ever...’ at least I can’t say “Well, I never...” Anytime I’m around, and in this town, she has a place for me to lie down rest, eat and be at ease No motive, or agenda, just a heart to please We spend many nights, over nights, and all-nighters drinking smoking dope, remembering, laughing, thinking dinking around about the life we had remembering all, it wasn’t even half bad We remembered being... Friends and lovers, we thought partners for life and went... hiking , backpacking, we started without strife we talked of... eating and cooking, and shopping and friends neighbors and family, and always our friends and, weather, or not, friends never end So we talked of life by remembering our friends and grandkids and kids, and raising our own Who they are, and "My how they've grown" And why they are just that way it’s surely not cuz they heard someone say...” credit was given, and duly accepted no apology given, none rejected For being parents, spouses, friends and lovers always believing there would be no other For sharing the love and joy and fears fights, togetherness, laughter and tears All the ups and downs, the struggles of living Birthing, rearing, the heartache and giving Loved ones leaving to begin anew Finding the strength to pull the other through We spoke of... our insecurities, and our cheatings and failings Hearts well up, “I’ll hold you, quit flailing.” “Did you ever sleep with so-and-so..?” thank the Universe, the answer’s “no..!” We give each other peace of heart and mind about our lives together, as a life one time We grew up together, not always the same place I knew her at three, and never forgot an angel’s face she was beautiful and cute and pretty and smart she was tough, and wise and rough and had heart She was sixteen to my twenty-two a road hardened hippy, paying my due serving the Uncle, doing my favors A master chemist, loving all flavors forms and fashions and senses and savors my pick of the litter is, “...si, por favor.” If ever described as a toxic waste site the commentator would be just about right We give to each other in important ways I am gentle and she feels safe, she says She gives me an anchor, I feel connected loved and cherished, never rejected There was so much to this good woman The Grand Ones' Gramma, my dear friend daughter, friend, wife and lover Grandma, aunt, sister and mother she was thoughtful, concerned, caring and giving she laughed and smiled and took life for the living Her laughter always filled the air around now the Grand Ones miss their Gramma’s sound She came to Montana sick and tired living on the edge really gets ya’ wired cirrhosis, and treatment, and it’s not working sick and tired of being sick and tired, doctors are all jerking Choosing the path to ease the pain she knew what was what, again and again Hurting and crying and dying inside She loved the Grand Ones with great pride Sometimes a slip would rule the day but our kids are strong and stood the way and our Grand Ones connected souls with her And ever and ever she loved them for At seven-thirty I awoke it had been a week since she last spoke to her I had said one last time, ”Marrie!?” and she responded “Whuht?,” to me “I love you, ya’ know, I truly do.” “I know” she said, “I love you too.” This day at her feet I sat nervous and numb she on a bed from some hospital room me, on the couch, feeling the fool oxygen, dope, no reviving the soul Lance discovered she had stopped breathing at eight a.m. she had taken her leaving June 2nd, 2002, a gentle Sunday Mourning And a few months hence, Faith is abornin’ an original poem by Joseph D. Carreno December 16-19, 2002 Peace, Joe |
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| © Copyright 2003 Joseph D. Carreno II - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
Thank you for sharing your words and her spirit |
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garysgirl  
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Joe, I honestly don't know what to say. This is heartbreaking and loving at the same time. Thank you, sir, for sharing this part of your life with us. Sometimes this much sharing isn't easy to do. May you and your kids and grandchildren have happy lives.  Hugs to you all,  Ethel [This message has been edited by garysgirl (10-04-2003 10:05 AM).] |
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n2dmystic Member
since 2003-09-27
Posts 253beyond the doors of perception |
aenimal ~ thank you for reading this. yesterday, after a year and a half, the kids, grandkids and I spread her ashes on the cliffs overlooking Billings. an awesome wonderful day. ethel ~ see comment to aenimal. you can't live with someone sixteen years, have three kids, experience all of life's up and downs, and end in hate. It's incongruous to me how people can share so much and then destroy the whole relationship. Bless you both. thank you Peace, Joe |
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HopeS Member Elite
since 2000-12-22
Posts 4596Perth Western Australia |
An incredible journey ...both of you right to the end ... still admitting "I love you " Thank you for sharing this , I for one was touched Hope |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
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Paul Wilson
since 2002-07-07
Posts 4711United States |
Joe...It sounds like both of you came full circle. In the end when it counted most you were there for her and that is pure kindness and love on your part. Good write, enjoyed...Paul "To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you" |
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