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Open Poetry #29
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Melancholy Resentment
| Open Poetry #29 |
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Melancholy Resentment |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida 
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My mind wonders often I think this is because I am left so dissatisfied With life in general There has to be more There has to be a place I feel at home I watch people Where are they going? Is the family going for ice cream? I remember when I had a family And we got ice cream Once we went to Disney I miss the happy times There is no daddy at my home He gave up that right Preferring addiction over children My resentment for that grew Over the years And broiled over Into hate There is no daddy at my house I remember when I had a family |
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| © Copyright 2003 Susan Caldwell - All Rights Reserved | |||
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
sounds like me...mine was there, just not really there  |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
Clarification: The "daddy" is my children's father. Today I feel resentful b/c I have to do everything myself...no one to bounce decisions off of...*sigh* such is life... Thank you Dixie!  |
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n2dmystic Member
since 2003-09-27
Posts 253beyond the doors of perception |
susan - I single parented three kids through puberty and beyond, due to addiction. I do understand hon, it ain't easy, but I have the love and respect of my children, in spite of my many shortcomings. Be grateful, dear one, that you have them. My children literally saved my life. A warm hug to you and your babies. Peace, Joe |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
Thank you Joe..most the time I know all that you said, but some days I wish I had someone just to ask "what do you think?" (as I am sure you know, I really didn't have that in the marriage anyway). And today? I couldn't get the cap off to put oil in my satan van....had to ask my son to do it for me... |
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n2dmystic Member
since 2003-09-27
Posts 253beyond the doors of perception |
susan - you should write a poem about your van. hugs again. and may blessing abound, around, boundlessly Peace, Joe |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
Joe, lol, I should...oh what a wonderful vent that would be...I have already given it a male personification...just b/c only men have given me that much trouble... |
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n2dmystic Member
since 2003-09-27
Posts 253beyond the doors of perception |
you gave your van a male personna, then call it satan van. huhmmmm, ouch, I think my karma is being chased by your dogma ;-} Peace, Joe |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
LOL... if so then you are in trouble b/c I am a runner...lol..in more ways than one. |
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Edder Senior Member
since 2003-04-02
Posts 671 |
no advice from me... just ~HUGS~ |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
Thank you darrrrlink Eddie! back at cha' baby! |
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Kaoru
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892where the wild flowers grow |
I'm not a parent, personally.. but my mother raised me, and my two sisters alone. My father left at an early age to marry a much younger woman,  . So in a way, I understand this..I feel the pain of the poem.. But I'll let my mother read it, and I'm sure she'll understand it much more.. Thanks |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
"I watch people Where are they going? Is the family going for ice cream? I remember when I had a family And we got ice cream" The place I remember and miss...is the grocery store. Not sure why, I always liked having someone along there. My Lucky Charms commercial isn't as much fun when I'm alone.  I relate a bit to your oil cap story. Ask Ron to tell you about my recent radiator cap adventure.And companionship? Well, I've still got this sweet little gray kitten... |
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garysgirl 
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Susan, I'm sorry that you're feeling this trouble, but I sure did like the way you wrote it in the poem. Hey, I'd like to hear a poem about your satan van, too!! LOL  Hugs  Ethel |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
Meg~Thank you. I hope your Mom likes it.. Duncan~Grocery shopping is fun time to me..I like to play around..and it isn't as fun when you are by yourself..as for the satan van..I have a story for just about everything under the hood..I know far more than a girl ever should.. Ethel~Thank you so much! I am scared if I write of the satan van it will pay me back...it's evil I tell you! oh crap.. Susan |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big hugggssssssss) Oh Susan, though of course I'm not a father yet, I had a very sad childhood besides my parents being supportful overall and though I always wish I could have been a happy boy, I want to make my children in the future happy and make sure they don't face the same regrets! (sigh) God Bless You, sweet friend, I send angel comfort hugs your way and hope now all has been forgiven, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Susan, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth |
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Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981 |
yannno susan? I know exactly what you mean. I haven't spoken to my father in about seven years. I doubt he would even reconize my face. shrugs...but for you it is pain...me...I just don't care. but i relate well, you have a way of doing that. And the angel said unto me, "These are the cries of the carrots, the cries of the carrots!" |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
"There is no daddy at my house I remember when I had a family" This hurts... Hugs to you, lady... When the power of love overcomes the |
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Ringo
since 2003-02-20
Posts 3684Saluting with misty eyes |
Susan- This is just soooo... heck, I don't know... honest. Not too many people have the conviction, or the guts to completely bare their souls in public... myself included. This has put taht lump where very few have ever come close. Major healing hugs to you and your children. We are all equal but we’re individually different |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
Susan I know the single parenting thing oh so well. This was very honest writing, thank you for sharing it with us. |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
Thank you all! |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
He never gives us more than we can handle, and if you got an addict out of your home... aren't your children better off for that decision... of yours? Well done, Susan, on ALL counts... |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
Indeed Karilea! Thank you. |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Yours is not an easy row to hoe, but there will come a time when you behold the beautiful, bountiful garden that your labors produced and you will smile and say to yourself--I did it! I really, really did it! Your days of joy are coming, but in the meantime enjoy those happy moments that come along the way. Your labors were even instrumental in this wonderful piece of writing!  Loving hugs & an extra shot of sunshine energy, Linda |
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Paul Wilson
since 2002-07-07
Posts 4711United States |
Susan...Sad and tenderly spoken from your heart. Thanks for sharing. Your trials will only make you a stronger and better person. Stay strong...Paul "To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you" |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
~Autumn, the year's last, loveliest smile~ |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
I had no family as far as my own children..but I know the feelings... hugsss M |
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allamericanjoe Member
since 2003-10-02
Posts 116Iredell county, NC |
I can appreciate your situation although from a different perspective. I am ashamed, but I left my family when my daughter was one year old, and over the past two years, I've grown much and come to realize that without my family, I'm not much. So I'm in the process of trying to rebuild my life with them. It's a lot of work, she loves me still, but is unsure of whether or not it's really love for me or love for her child's father. I think it's more a trust issue myself, her being afraid that I'll hurt her again. Anyhoo, just wanted to comiserate a bit, and let you know that you are not alone in your pain. Chin up. Maybe he'll have an epiphany as I have and come to his senses. Best wishes, and kudos on a wonderful poem. |
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allamericanjoe Member
since 2003-10-02
Posts 116Iredell county, NC |
I can appreciate your situation although from a different perspective. I am ashamed, but I left my family when my daughter was one year old, and over the past two years, I've grown much and come to realize that without my family, I'm not much. So I'm in the process of trying to rebuild my life with them. It's a lot of work, she loves me still, but is unsure of whether or not it's really love for me or love for her child's father. I think it's more a trust issue myself, her being afraid that I'll hurt her again. Anyhoo, just wanted to comiserate a bit, and let you know that you are not alone in your pain. Chin up. Maybe he'll have an epiphany as I have and come to his senses. Best wishes, and kudos on a wonderful poem. |
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dertah Senior Member
since 2003-06-18
Posts 584 |
ahh to just be accompanied through life. |
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