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Open Poetry #29
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Every single move (duet with bsquirrel)
| Open Poetry #29 |
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Every single move (duet with bsquirrel) |
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Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981
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I feel your eyes peeling back my skin and getting in to my heart. From there, right into the valves, and from there, right into the blood. Your soporific, dazing solution melts right through my bones. You are watching me, yes. And I am left alone. I like occasional pain, of pins and needles, I like to feel lonely when you're around air that escapes your lips, it poisons me, words die slowly from my mind And emptiness is left behind I stretch the threads tighter than canvas nailed down to wood. On this blank face, I craft a surface to write out lines -- intertwined with lines of light -- empty words filled with words are what I have to give. toxic air, that atmosphere looks down on me with shame, All tied up Within my veins I bleed- nothing but the earth itself fresh and cold it never stops Rather turn ice to ice rather than inkblots turning paper black but empty thoughts filled with thoughts are all I have to take Will you run with me in the river? Fast as the silver water? Crest the moon with me. Here within this room with me. Sprawl out on the rocks, and feel the soothing deep caress your sopping hair. Drown within the air. Each mention of cold riptides will dull the rushing flow. Your veins collapsed and still as water glass, as surface touch. Down to the river, with me Down to the deep, rush on. Swim to where you will be snared. Together. Find the empty burn and let it rage its fire in. Let it call you down from high and leave you broken in the stream. Let it break you, sad and clean. Rush with me to the river. Sink your face to the floor. Let small stones make up your sight, stitched together rivulets. Clutch one last reminder. As the shades come down. Down with me in the river. Bubbles burst. In writhe and churn. I would rather drown in oceans set by you, put me down, slowly down, painfully, helplessly pulling down The earth is but a magnet and we- victims of gravity. My final words, before the ground closes over us, are this. May our minds mistake the falling soil as the last memory of our joined hands. And the angel said unto me, "These are the cries of the carrots, the cries of the carrots!" |
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| © Copyright 2003 Liz - All Rights Reserved | |||
bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Bloody genius. |
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Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981 |
yep...it is. don't mind saying so myself. te he And the angel said unto me, "These are the cries of the carrots, the cries of the carrots!" |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
enjoy your read  |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
I was following this over in that "other" thread and I would have to agree...  Ya'll done good for a brat and a rodent.  "Wind needs a lemon kitten"...came the cries of the carrots. |
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Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981 |
woah mr sneaky...why didn't you say anything? (see what I was talking about? I felt him there...watching us. actualy it was you but...oh well) And the angel said unto me, "These are the cries of the carrots, the cries of the carrots!" |
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Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981 |
I seriously can't stop reading this. I know I'm a weirdo but what are ya going to do? ack... And the angel said unto me, "These are the cries of the carrots, the cries of the carrots!" |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Mikey and Liz: ooh what a nice pairing: I bleed- nothing but the earth itself fresh and cold it never stops and this: Will you run with me in the river? Fast as the silver water? Crest the moon with me. Here within this room with me. and here: I would rather drown in oceans set by you, put me down, slowly down, painfully, helplessly pulling down Damn the whole thing is a masterpiece Beautiful writing you two xxoo |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
(smiling).... odd isn't it? How at times the words connect themselves and the hearts are shown... I'll agree with Duncan ( god I hate to admit that) not bad at all for a brat and a rodent.. not bad..heck...it's damned fine... |
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EvocativeVerse2 Senior Member
since 2003-09-10
Posts 1279 |
Very interesting for a brat and a rodent. I like it Wind. Different from most of the stuff I read by you...but still notable. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
 |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Keep it comin. |
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Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981 |
he...my mood is improved. is this really that different? I suppose because squirrel makes it so much better And the angel said unto me, "These are the cries of the carrots, the cries of the carrots!" |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
Hey Mike...did she count your lines?  "Wind needs a lemon kitten"...came the cries of the carrots. |
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Kaoru
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892where the wild flowers grow |
Why did I not respond to this?! Awesome work, you guys. |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
"The earth is but a magnet and we- victims of gravity. My final words, before the ground closes over us, are this. May our minds mistake the falling soil as the last memory of our joined hands."  (big hugggssssssss) Oh Liz and Michael, this is wonderful, dearest friends, even from six feet under you can feel the magnetic pull and that is the indication the move has yet to be played! (sigh) God Bless You, sweet friends, this is an epic of a rambler, we all love you so much! You have such beautiful hearts, sweet Liz and Michael, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth I can see the sun set and I perceive ***Live*** [This message has been edited by Mistletoe Angel (10-01-2003 03:10 AM).] |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
 wow! |
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Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
I enjoyed your duet very very much... Charisma |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
a very lovely write, thank you kindly for sharing |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
If I can squeeze in here... I always enjoy a flowing piece. I also enjoy staccato...both of which excelled in this duet. It was also like watching a good game of tennis...with the players on Gatorade. Well done, to the both of you! |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Well, Gatorade restores the electrolytes that water doesn't have, and your body NEEDS. At least, according to the advertisments. Thanks, everyone. |
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Ceinwyn Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175VA |
you got me giggling over here don't ask why...let's all blame it on the lack of sleep and pain killers....yeah....but gawd.. LOVE THIS! If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried. [This message has been edited by Ceinwyn (10-01-2003 12:51 PM).] |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Wow !! Great write the two of you !! Enjoyed. Chris Let your life lightly dance on the edges of Time like dew on the tip of a leaf. -Tagore |
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Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981 |
no I did not count his lines duncan. damn...I would've been fine if he wrote the whole thing himself.... not that I wouldn't have with you but... this puts me in a strange position  and it's red cool-aid...thats what susan says. we're like kids on red kool-aid. And the angel said unto me, "These are the cries of the carrots, the cries of the carrots!" |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
I can't beleive I missed this. Sheeesh. This is bloody fantastic..seriously fantastic I say! Well Done both of you  Maree. fate is not just |
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