navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #29 » Autumn's Jewel
Open Poetry #29
Post A Reply Post New Topic Autumn's Jewel Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Kahlil
Senior Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 1881


0 posted 2003-09-21 06:49 PM


autumn’s arrival takes me back
to a year ago, I fell in love  
alone now, in the park
I walk the path we walked together
slightly touching
sometimes silent
our steps were not quite in sync
you with those long legs...

leaves rattle in the crispy breeze  
they’ll learn to fly and then they’ll fall
to the hungry earth below  
from you I learned to notice all
of Spirit’s energy  
haunting reminders I notice now
I miss your hand brushing mine

the breeze becomes a swirling wind
embracing me as I walk on
like your essence surrounding me
when we breathed the same air  
in the wind I hear your voice
and it takes me back there

raindrops begin to fall
disguising my tears  
I find shelter beneath a tree
the tree where you sang to me  
how I loved your true intentions
how I miss your sweet voice

I stop to listen... I hear you whisper
there are no kisses for me
clouds are white and shades of gray
outlined with fine strands of gold
gold like your hair, golden threads
connecting all my memories  

and I look up into the sky
the sun peeks through the cloudscape
shines on my face
but it’s not warm
how will I fill up this space

sky blue glimpses, tiny gaps
between the gold and the gray
is where I send my fervent prayer
that God may gather my love
and place it there, into your heart  
wherever you are

I would drift then, gracefully,
a little feather in the wind....

[This message has been edited by Kahlil (09-21-2003 07:56 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 Kahlil - All Rights Reserved
QjQ
Member Elite
since 2003-04-18
Posts 3756
U.S.A.
1 posted 2003-09-21 06:54 PM


feelings expressed well,,,

                                    

Suetang
Member Ascendant
since 2001-03-07
Posts 5187
Melbourne, Australia
2 posted 2003-09-21 06:57 PM


Absolutely beautiful, it had me captivated from start to finish.

"We are all angels with only one wing....
we can fly only by embracing each other."

Take care......Sue

I am in motion
I am blue
Love is an ocean
I'm anchored in you
- Shawn Mullins

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
3 posted 2003-09-21 07:45 PM






(big hugggssssssss) Oh Rubillam, this is so very heartfelt, sweet friend, I too pray for this great warmth to fill your heart and for your love to know of how true your love is! (sigh) Here's wishing you the best, sweet friend, God Bless You, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Rubillam, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth
I can see the sun set and I perceive

***Live***

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
4 posted 2003-09-21 08:34 PM


and I look up into the sky
the sun peeks through the cloudscape
shines on my face
but it’s not warm
how will I fill up this space

Each verse speaks so tenderly,  and helps to fill the empty space.  

Lovely writing~  

Thanks Kahlil~

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
5 posted 2003-09-21 08:40 PM


An excellent write...could relate to the loss, and know the renewal.
TD

Wind
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981

6 posted 2003-09-21 08:42 PM


you capture every essence in this. this is fantastic

And the angel said unto me, "These are the cries of the carrots, the cries of the carrots!"
-Tool

Kahlil
Senior Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 1881

7 posted 2003-09-22 02:12 AM


QjQ - thanks for reading, I appreciate your response.

Suetang - Well, there was no ocean in this one.  I agree with you Angels (we) fly by embracing each other.

Misteltoe Angel:  Thank you for sharing that beautiful picture with me.  I love autumn, this is just such a bittersweet time this year.  Thanks for caring so.

Blues Serenade - thank you, I hadn't realized that the verses I was writing were actually filling the empty spaces. Good observation on your part!

This Diamond - Re: loss and renewal...there's hope! Thanks.

Wind - I'm honored by your comments.

Krawdad
Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597

8 posted 2003-09-22 05:16 PM


Autumn is a lovely season
and a season for love as well,
but sometimes the chill
becomes penetratingly cold

This is an echo of autumn you have written,
a gust of the chill

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
9 posted 2003-09-22 06:10 PM


So very touching...so gently beautiful.
Very much enjoyed.
~Hugs~


~ I love your glances meeting mine
     across forever or the room ~

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
10 posted 2003-09-22 06:42 PM


Kahlil~

'I send my fervent prayer
that God may gather my love
and place it there, into your heart  
wherever you are'


My heart simply caught in my throat at this read~
I venture to say that I'll not read a more poignant piece this day~

This is truly such a gentle, loving write~
Thank you for making my reading day~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram
   noles1@totcon.com     

Kahlil
Senior Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 1881

11 posted 2003-09-22 10:01 PM


Krawdad: "a gust of the chill", perfectly
         worded, thank you so much.
Enchantress:  Thank you, Nancy, that means a
              lot coming from the Enchantress
              of love!
Marge: Thank you, you made my day with your
       comments and I am honored.  Your
       signature line is quite appropriate...

icebox
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383
in the shadows
12 posted 2003-09-23 01:08 PM


Autumn is always a time for reflection.  This poem makes it more so.

Very touching.

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
13 posted 2003-09-23 03:46 PM


Gibran is smiling down upon your golden crown for this soul-touching write. ~ Smiling through his tears of rain...

Loving, healing hugs,
Linda

[This message has been edited by Earth Angel (09-23-2003 07:53 PM).]

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
14 posted 2003-09-24 10:40 AM


Kahlil

Such a poignant write..you touched my heart.

VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
15 posted 2003-11-19 09:38 AM


Absolutely wonderfully and beautifully expressed. May God find the perfect heart through which to share your love, for your heart superbly filled.

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

Kahlil
Senior Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 1881

16 posted 2003-11-19 10:00 AM


Thank you, Virginia.  Blessings....  ~K~
steavenr
Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058

17 posted 2003-11-19 02:41 PM


"leaves rattle in the crispy breeze  
they’ll learn to fly and then they’ll fall
to the hungry earth below"

I love the imagery of these lines.  Makes me want to sit on the park bench near my home, button all the buttons on my sweater, and watch the leaves on a sunny day.



Kaoru
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow
18 posted 2003-11-19 03:12 PM


This is VERY good!
vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
19 posted 2003-11-19 04:37 PM


enjoyed
Kahlil
Senior Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 1881

20 posted 2003-11-19 09:21 PM


THANK YOU, EVERYONE!
mytuesdaywishes
Member
since 2003-09-05
Posts 254
a voice from the musicbox
21 posted 2003-11-22 10:17 PM


wow, i love your style..."how will I fill up this space" is the best line of the poem i think. it expresses so much, yet is so simple. again, i love this one.

joy has its own justice. and dreams are languid and lawless. and everything bows to beauty, when it's fierce and when it's flawless...

Pilgrimage
Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945
Texas, USA
22 posted 2003-11-22 11:07 PM


This is filled with so many good visuals, but these lines:
'leaves rattle in the crispy breeze  
they’ll learn to fly and then they’ll fall'
are probably the best I've ever read about the leaf-fall in Autumn. It's a season that's easily identified with loss, at least to me, and you do it well.


Nan (Pilgrim variety)

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
23 posted 2003-11-23 04:13 AM


extremely touching
Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #29 » Autumn's Jewel

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary