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Open Poetry #29
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Autumn's Jewel
| Open Poetry #29 |
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Autumn's Jewel |
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Kahlil Senior Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 1881 |
autumn’s arrival takes me back to a year ago, I fell in love alone now, in the park I walk the path we walked together slightly touching sometimes silent our steps were not quite in sync you with those long legs... leaves rattle in the crispy breeze they’ll learn to fly and then they’ll fall to the hungry earth below from you I learned to notice all of Spirit’s energy haunting reminders I notice now I miss your hand brushing mine the breeze becomes a swirling wind embracing me as I walk on like your essence surrounding me when we breathed the same air in the wind I hear your voice and it takes me back there raindrops begin to fall disguising my tears I find shelter beneath a tree the tree where you sang to me how I loved your true intentions how I miss your sweet voice I stop to listen... I hear you whisper there are no kisses for me clouds are white and shades of gray outlined with fine strands of gold gold like your hair, golden threads connecting all my memories and I look up into the sky the sun peeks through the cloudscape shines on my face but it’s not warm how will I fill up this space sky blue glimpses, tiny gaps between the gold and the gray is where I send my fervent prayer that God may gather my love and place it there, into your heart wherever you are I would drift then, gracefully, a little feather in the wind.... [This message has been edited by Kahlil (09-21-2003 07:56 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 Kahlil - All Rights Reserved | |||
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QjQ Member Elite
since 2003-04-18
Posts 3756U.S.A. |
feelings expressed well,,, |
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Suetang Member Ascendant
since 2001-03-07
Posts 5187Melbourne, Australia |
Absolutely beautiful, it had me captivated from start to finish. "We are all angels with only one wing.... we can fly only by embracing each other." Take care......Sue I am in motion |
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Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
  (big hugggssssssss) Oh Rubillam, this is so very heartfelt, sweet friend, I too pray for this great warmth to fill your heart and for your love to know of how true your love is! (sigh) Here's wishing you the best, sweet friend, God Bless You, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Rubillam, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
and I look up into the sky the sun peeks through the cloudscape shines on my face but it’s not warm how will I fill up this space Each verse speaks so tenderly, and helps to fill the empty space. Lovely writing~ Thanks Kahlil~ |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
An excellent write...could relate to the loss, and know the renewal. TD |
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Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981 |
you capture every essence in this. this is fantastic And the angel said unto me, "These are the cries of the carrots, the cries of the carrots!" |
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Kahlil Senior Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 1881 |
QjQ - thanks for reading, I appreciate your response. Suetang - Well, there was no ocean in this one. I agree with you Angels (we) fly by embracing each other. Misteltoe Angel: Thank you for sharing that beautiful picture with me. I love autumn, this is just such a bittersweet time this year. Thanks for caring so. Blues Serenade - thank you, I hadn't realized that the verses I was writing were actually filling the empty spaces. Good observation on your part! This Diamond - Re: loss and renewal...there's hope! Thanks. Wind - I'm honored by your comments. |
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Krawdad Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597 |
Autumn is a lovely season and a season for love as well, but sometimes the chill becomes penetratingly cold This is an echo of autumn you have written, a gust of the chill |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
So very touching...so gently beautiful. Very much enjoyed. ~Hugs~
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Kahlil~ 'I send my fervent prayer that God may gather my love and place it there, into your heart wherever you are' My heart simply caught in my throat at this read~ I venture to say that I'll not read a more poignant piece this day~ This is truly such a gentle, loving write~ Thank you for making my reading day~ *Huglets* ~*Marge*~ ~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost, |
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Kahlil Senior Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 1881 |
Krawdad: "a gust of the chill", perfectly worded, thank you so much. Enchantress: Thank you, Nancy, that means a lot coming from the Enchantress of love! Marge: Thank you, you made my day with your comments and I am honored. Your signature line is quite appropriate... |
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows |
Autumn is always a time for reflection. This poem makes it more so. Very touching. |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Gibran is smiling down upon your golden crown for this soul-touching write. ~ Smiling through his tears of rain... Loving, healing hugs, Linda [This message has been edited by Earth Angel (09-23-2003 07:53 PM).] |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Kahlil Such a poignant write..you touched my heart. |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
Absolutely wonderfully and beautifully expressed. May God find the perfect heart through which to share your love, for your heart superbly filled. Whether on the shoal or on the shore, |
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Kahlil Senior Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 1881 |
Thank you, Virginia. Blessings.... ~K~ |
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steavenr Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058 |
"leaves rattle in the crispy breeze they’ll learn to fly and then they’ll fall to the hungry earth below" I love the imagery of these lines. Makes me want to sit on the park bench near my home, button all the buttons on my sweater, and watch the leaves on a sunny day. |
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Kaoru
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892where the wild flowers grow |
This is VERY good! |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
enjoyed  |
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Kahlil Senior Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 1881 |
THANK YOU, EVERYONE! |
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mytuesdaywishes Member
since 2003-09-05
Posts 254a voice from the musicbox |
wow, i love your style..."how will I fill up this space" is the best line of the poem i think. it expresses so much, yet is so simple. again, i love this one. joy has its own justice. and dreams are languid and lawless. and everything bows to beauty, when it's fierce and when it's flawless... |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
This is filled with so many good visuals, but these lines: 'leaves rattle in the crispy breeze they’ll learn to fly and then they’ll fall' are probably the best I've ever read about the leaf-fall in Autumn. It's a season that's easily identified with loss, at least to me, and you do it well. Nan (Pilgrim variety) |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
extremely touching |
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