North-West, Thirty To Forty

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Open Poetry #29

North-West, Thirty To Forty

ice
Member Elite

since 2003-05-17

Posts 3404
Pennsylvania

0 posted 2003-11-19 07:24 PM

Wind can stifle men
But I turn my face aside,
Still able to sing
*
A curse at the static blasts,
That take my breath, and eyes, sting.

steavenr
Member Elite

since 2003-11-17

Posts 4058

1 posted 2003-11-19 07:37 PM

Very interesting and very tight form.
5-7-5 7-7 Is there a name for this style?
A haiku, with a refrain?

ice
Member Elite

since 2003-05-17

Posts 3404
Pennsylvania

2 posted 2003-11-19 07:44 PM

stevenr
Thank you for reading and commenting..:-)
The form is called Tanka..it is basically a haiku with a second stanza of two, seven syllable lines....so it is 5-7-5/ 7-7
Try it, it is a fun form...
______ice
><>

steavenr
Member Elite

since 2003-11-17

Posts 4058

3 posted 2003-11-19 07:58 PM

Thanks for the info. Terseness is such a challenge. (You did it so well) I will attempt to add it to my repertoire.

Nightshade

Member Patricius

since 2001-08-31

Posts 13962
just out of reach

4 posted 2003-11-19 08:07 PM

This is really good ice. I had no idea that a tanka's last two lines should be on their own. Thanks for letting us know .... I have been doing them incorrectly I guess, I thought they were
5
7
5
7
7
but it is:
5
7
5

7
7
Right?

Be well. Chris

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

5 posted 2003-11-19 08:23 PM

ice

ice
Member Elite

since 2003-05-17

Posts 3404
Pennsylvania

6 posted 2003-11-19 09:03 PM

Nightshade
You are correct in what you said about the Tanka form and its line count...it is
5
7
5
7
7

I sometimes take liberties and break this tradition, placing a stanza break between the haiku part and the last two 7-7 lines.

What you have been doing is the proper, disciplined way...please note this stevener..
I steered you wrong without thinking...sorry about that...:-(

______ice
><>

ice
Member Elite

since 2003-05-17

Posts 3404
Pennsylvania

7 posted 2003-11-19 09:08 PM

Seymour
Thanks for the thumbs up....:-)

______ice
><>

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

8 posted 2003-11-20 03:35 AM

it's pretty neat

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