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Kaoru

Member Elite

since 2003-06-07

Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow

0 posted 2003-11-19 03:24 PM

Today,
the backdrop of the world
is warmer than
the
palm of our hands
combined.

Lest
we let
that keep us
from
shivering,

being held
makes me
feel
like there's a damn good reason
to be cold.

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

1 posted 2003-11-19 03:29 PM

being held
makes me
feel
like there's a damn good reason
to be cold.

~*~

I know some people who are going to hold on to this one very tight!

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

2 posted 2003-11-19 03:38 PM

Today,
the backdrop of the world
is warmer than
the
palm of our hands
combined.

these lines set well the form, by creating an image that draws the reader in, the following lines, then the ending, all deliver the punch, the part that takes your breath for a second, in understanding and in empathy...

you dear do truly impress me... you write well beyond your years in understanding and have the talent to deliver the words in such a way they become a part of the reader...

I'll be proud to say one day... "I read her before..I read her when.."

Joe Houck
Member

since 2001-04-23

Posts 324
california

3 posted 2003-11-19 03:58 PM

very nice...=)

Joe

wintertao
Member

since 2003-11-17

Posts 366
Okaloosa Island, FL

4 posted 2003-11-19 04:36 PM

I like this Alot

vandana

Member Patricius

since 1999-10-22

Posts 10463
USA

5 posted 2003-11-19 04:36 PM

enjoyed

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

6 posted 2003-11-21 04:57 AM

excellent!

Brad Majors

Member Elite

since 2001-04-03

Posts 2647
Georgia

7 posted 2003-11-21 07:44 AM

well written

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-19

Posts 7392
Ohio

8 posted 2003-11-21 07:46 AM

yes this is good in few words, manaaging to get the idea across and draw in the read

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

9 posted 2003-11-21 07:51 AM

Kaoru
Good thoughts, good write, good read.

Kahlil
Senior Member

since 2003-04-12

Posts 1881

10 posted 2003-11-21 08:48 AM

very nice! ~K~

LeeJ
Member Patricius

since 2003-06-19

Posts 13296

11 posted 2003-11-21 08:56 AM

your words are a seer and guide, and need to be published for all to rein in the wealth of your mind. Astounding write...took me right in and held me very closely.

eor
Senior Member

since 2002-09-26

Posts 959
blues & greys

12 posted 2003-11-21 01:03 PM

there is a reason...loved this! adding for sure...

"So what befalls the flawless?
Look what I've built, it shines so beautifully now watch as it destroys me."

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

13 posted 2003-11-21 10:50 PM

Meghan~
You are quite a remarkable writer young lady~
Wonderful read`
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram
[email protected]

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

14 posted 2003-11-21 11:44 PM

really nice...James

wandering glider
Senior Member

since 2001-04-04

Posts 501
aloft

15 posted 2003-11-22 12:45 PM

I'm going to have to disagree with those above.
You miss me with this one. I don't see it.

-glider-

Kaoru

Member Elite

since 2003-06-07

Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow

16 posted 2003-11-22 01:12 AM

That COULD be a problem, Glider. But there's no way I could possibly explain. My apologies.

Dee
Member Elite

since 2000-08-19

Posts 2330
Queensland, Australia

17 posted 2003-11-22 06:13 PM

Another stunning piece. I agree, a remarkable talent you have. I am looking forward to watching it grow with you. (The mind boggles as to how it will grow

)

Dee

Stand straight and tall, not the reflection as others see you, but as you truely are. Clearwater

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

18 posted 2003-11-22 08:41 PM

I love the ending to this lovely poem! I'm with you! ~ Being held is one hellova good reason for getting cold!

EA

GG
Member Elite

since 2002-12-03

Posts 3532
Lost in thought

19 posted 2003-11-22 09:05 PM

ahhh yea! I love it...
Makes me cold... but it makes me love it.. in some twisted warm way.

Always, Alyssa

- And so it was that time stood still -
(blink, breathe, stand, fight)

mytuesdaywishes
Member

since 2003-09-05

Posts 254
a voice from the musicbox

20 posted 2003-11-22 09:55 PM

i know exactly what you mean....i like this one alot

joy has its own justice. and dreams are languid and lawless. and everything bows to beauty, when it's fierce and when it's flawless...

mytuesdaywishes
Member

since 2003-09-05

Posts 254
a voice from the musicbox

21 posted 2003-12-14 07:34 PM

haha, tremendous

joy has its own justice. and dreams are languid and lawless. and everything bows to beauty, when it's fierce and when it's flawless...

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