Mark 6 (Realizing Depths Damages)

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Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

0 posted 2003-11-18 03:58 PM

Soft the sucking sound
Of mud against the keel
Still it abrades
Small layers of wear
That in time

Yes, that and time

Such the muck of words
Reveals
first
The coats put on
      One to dry
Followed always

Another to brush

Then to bared
To see the cut

Along this treacherous
Stretch of syllables
Are shallow bars
That wait

Unsounded

But for tone of scrape
An echoed wail of verses thrown
Severe against
           River’s wailing stones

So the words still come
     Scarred by love and time.

James_A_Fraser
Senior Member

since 2003-09-03

Posts 972
Out Making Anticlines

1 posted 2003-11-18 04:01 PM

They do, and beautifully, dependably so. Well done, Captain.

~~J

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

2 posted 2003-11-18 04:03 PM

I'll be back.

Kaoru

Member Elite

since 2003-06-07

Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow

3 posted 2003-11-18 04:12 PM

A-mazing....wow...

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

4 posted 2003-11-18 04:18 PM

"But for tone of scrape
An echoed wail of verses thrown
Severe against
River’s wailing stones

So the words still come
Scarred by love and time."

Excellent write Captain!
Well done indeed.
Hugs~

~I've loved you forever, in lifetimes before~

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

5 posted 2003-11-18 04:20 PM

True..depth can cause damage.

As always, a superb write.

"if you won't let me fall for you
then you won't see the best that I would love to do for you"
~Dido~

Sadelite
Member Elite

since 2003-10-11

Posts 2519

6 posted 2003-11-18 04:24 PM

I don't know where to start, Captain.  So...
I'll just tell you that it's an incredible write and be done with it!   All images were outstanding. Very much enjoyed...
               Sadelite

Edder
Senior Member

since 2003-04-02

Posts 671

7 posted 2003-11-18 04:28 PM

in awe...

Kellie_Cantrell
Senior Member

since 2002-05-22

Posts 1667
New York

8 posted 2003-11-18 04:28 PM

Grand, this poem was reaching the core in depth and was very well imaged in these words. Excellent job.

Love,
xXx~*KELLIE*~xXx
Graduation : January 29th 2004

Greeneyes

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-09-09

Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

9 posted 2003-11-18 04:41 PM

...

the title speaks so much....as does the poem...WOW sir
Lauren~

~~**~~

I had a dream last night
you came to me on silver wings of light
I flew away with you in painted sky
Was it real
Is it what you see,touch or feel

Duncan
Member Ascendant

since 2001-08-07

Posts 5455

10 posted 2003-11-18 05:49 PM

"Along this treacherous
Stretch of syllables
Are shallow bars
That wait

Unsounded

But for tone of scrape
An echoed wail of verses thrown
Severe against
River’s wailing stones

So the words still come
Scarred by love and time."

As long as they still come, I don't care if they're dressed in rags and singing the Star Spangled Banner...

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

11 posted 2003-11-18 05:51 PM

and here you describe the entire process
in a poem

nonetheless . . .

beautiful Ron
xxoo

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

12 posted 2003-11-18 06:36 PM

Once scared,
no hiding...

sometimes, even down
to the bone.

The sounds of this
as it slips off the tongue
and over lips
is amazing.

On to 7.

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

13 posted 2003-11-19 12:15 PM

the moth was kept from poetry yesterday...
but wont be kept from the current of these...

6 inhaled and felt....
moving down the river to 7..

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

14 posted 2003-11-19 12:42 PM

yeah...sigh

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