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Open Poetry #29
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Kazm
Member
since 2003-11-13
Posts 99


0 posted 2003-11-17 03:53 PM




Only A Room

I came too late to say goodbye.
No need to knock and
hear the hollow confirmation
that you left an hour ago,
the part of you that did leave,
and now this door
leads only to a room
among the other rooms.

There is no paradise inside,
no love, no lover.
If I did go in, if I could,
it would echo me
but you are gone.
And so I stop here
so close that I can feel
the emptiness behind
the door and wait for --
wait for nothing I can name.

If I try I can still see
the door opening to you,
hear your parting steps,
watch you pause and
turn back wistfully
to look for one last time
the way I'm looking now.
Did you see me then,
close your eyes to catch
a memory, see my face
as I see yours?

There's a fresh fall of leaves
and yes there are the traces,
I can see your very steps,
the turn, and carefully
I follow, put my feet
just where you did,
feel your parting sigh.
I turn back, my heart too full
to watch you drive away.

And this door, our door,
if I did go in, if I could,
would I still find a trace,
some clinging shade of you
some incidental mark
you left behind?
I won't know. By now
they've changed the codes,
my key would never work.
And I don't want it to.


Kaz Murakami


© Copyright 2003 Kaz Murakami - All Rights Reserved
Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
1 posted 2003-11-17 04:07 PM


I must have missed your first post, so let me tell you now, welcome to Passions!!

Wonderfully done.

"if you won't let me fall for you
then you won't see the best that I would love to do for you"
~Dido~

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
2 posted 2003-11-17 04:14 PM


The love and longing in this are breathtaking... beautiful work! *S*
Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
3 posted 2003-11-17 04:21 PM


Wonderful piece of work Kaz!
Very much enjoyed the read.
Hugs~

~I've loved you forever, in lifetimes before~

Justbleu
Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329
Oregon, Originally From Alaska :)
4 posted 2003-11-17 04:24 PM


Excellent piece of poetry.....

And this door, our door,
if I did go in, if I could,
would I still find a trace,
some clinging shade of you
some incidental mark
you left behind?
I won't know. By now
they've changed the codes,
my key would never work.
And I don't want it to.

Hope to read more from you!!!!
Welcome To Passions!!!!
Bridgette


"Somewhere, somehow, it should be possible to touch someone and never let go again.  To hold someone, not for a moment but forever." Unknown


Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
5 posted 2003-11-17 09:03 PM


Yes! What Justbleu said!

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

wintertao
Member
since 2003-11-17
Posts 366
Okaloosa Island, FL
6 posted 2003-11-17 09:06 PM


Excellent work!
yv
Senior Member
since 2003-05-30
Posts 574

7 posted 2003-11-17 09:21 PM


Beautiful.  'Tis a painful memory, the silent goodbye of a loved one.  This poem hurts.  I love this hurt, however.  It sends chills down my spine.  Every word brought forth a breath of truth and sadness that is almost hard to bear.  But, I love the truth in your words.  Thank you for opening up my eyes further to the profound mysteries of love.  I, falling in love for the first time, am now able to see what may await me in the future.  And with this poem, I accept it.  Stay true.

Member,
yv

[This message has been edited by yv (11-17-2003 09:23 PM).]

steavenr
Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058

8 posted 2003-11-17 09:22 PM


You have captured that heartache of ambivalence that we experience when those who are near to us depart from us. Nice, heartfelt read.
Magic Solias
Member
since 2003-11-08
Posts 73
California, USA
9 posted 2003-11-17 09:25 PM


powerful!

Magic Solias

"we dream to love and love to dream"

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