Are You Happy; Would You Know?

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icebox
Member Elite

since 2003-05-03

Posts 4383
in the shadows

0 posted 2003-11-15 11:29 PM

When I look around
beneath the screen of my delusions
I do admit you are gone,
I know every time,
I watch your body move through my day
inhabited by a stranger
no longer trusted,
always now I have to be on guard
against the danger of forgetting;
when I am away,
at work,
out on the road,
or just walking in the woods,
I can sometimes act a little
and fool myself
into thinking like the past,
that I'm heading home to you.
But I don't even know where you are
I just know you won't be back,
sometimes I wish you would return
because I am selfish,
and I miss you just for my own reasons,
sometimes I wish you would return
just so I could ask why.
Why did you have to leave me
with this constant reminder that you're gone?
It is like your body is inhabited by hired help
so untrained and desperate for a job
that you'll stay on in this menial role
of playing you.
Your eyes are dead,
and when your body laughs
there is no joy
just hollow echoes
of someone else's make believe.
Why did you go away
so many years ago;
how did we get here;
how did love's soft caressing breeze
turn into this
howling sand storm of regret,
tearing at my flesh,
shredding veins,
choking off the flow of life's blood
to my soul?
What was the role of love
in mixing this corrosive lie,
of time's hapless thievery
and of life's endless deceit?

   ©2003 by icebox

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

1 posted 2003-11-15 11:32 PM

I have felt this from both sides. I've wondered where that person went m'self. Then I became the zombie too.

damn ice. just...damn.

sigh.

yer so good.

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

2 posted 2003-11-16 12:24 PM

IceBox~

'sometimes I wish you would return
because I am selfish,
and I miss you just for my own reasons,
sometimes I wish you would return
just so I could ask why'
This just rips right through me ...
for I've heard these words when it was too late for 'reasons'~

An emotionally compelling read for me~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram
[email protected]

wandering glider
Senior Member

since 2001-04-04

Posts 501
aloft

3 posted 2003-11-16 01:29 AM

Happy?
I avoid situations where that question might be asked.
In the meantime, the trick seems to be to deceive oneself.

-glider-

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

4 posted 2003-11-16 01:30 AM

been on both sides

I know well...very sad

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