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inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-19

Posts 7392
Ohio

0 posted 2003-11-15 11:09 PM

Sitting crosslegged,
dwindling prints of
feet
between us,
stationary rocks
salt and pepper dots
stencils on wallpaper,

we are,
the ocean mist that
wraps us.

Through salted air
i breathe........
aware,
sitting fixed among them,
no need to wander
beyond
right here

[This message has been edited by inkedgoddess (11-15-2003 11:18 PM).]

Sparticus
Member

since 2003-11-15

Posts 245

1 posted 2003-11-15 11:29 PM

Sitting crosslegged,
dwindling prints of
feet
between us,
stationary rocks
salt and pepper dots
stencils on wallpaper,

we are,
the ocean mist that
wraps us.

Through salted air
i breathe........
aware,
sitting fixed among them,
no need to wander
beyond
right here

I like the effort, I would just like a little more flow and perhaps finish off with punctuation that is constant. But they are just small nits, the poem is very nice as far as the feel of it.

Sparticus

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

2 posted 2003-11-16 12:27 PM

This is just beautiful~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram
noles1@totcon.com

wandering glider
Senior Member

since 2001-04-04

Posts 501
aloft

3 posted 2003-11-16 12:40 PM

Got a spare sitting rock?
I could enjoy that spot.

-glider-

GG
Member Elite

since 2002-12-03

Posts 3532
Lost in thought

4 posted 2003-11-16 02:11 AM

now this is a good view...
thats why I should have left my couch today, oh well!
Love it

Always, Alyssa

- And so it was that time stood still -
(blink, breathe, stand, fight)

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

5 posted 2003-11-16 02:14 AM

I need to find a spot like that

She
Junior Member

since 2002-11-29

Posts 41
Wishing On A Northern Star

6 posted 2003-11-16 02:43 AM

sometimes that is just the right place to be.

wishing i could find a place like this within myself.

enjoyed

"You put a stain on all of my good days."
Matchbox Twenty "Disease"

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-02-22

Posts 9353
Michigan, USA

7 posted 2003-11-16 03:16 PM

No need to wander beyond right here.

Riveted to the shoreline...and the intimate knowledge of the sea.

Great!
TD

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

8 posted 2003-11-16 03:30 PM

I wouldn't want to wander either! Sounds like a lovely way to while the day!

EA

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

9 posted 2003-11-16 04:06 PM

we are,
the ocean mist that
wraps us.

Michele, though I loved it all,
I love this verse, especially.

Hugs

Ethel

bklynboy
Senior Member

since 2002-12-15

Posts 660
florida

10 posted 2003-11-16 04:32 PM

Click here: Gulls of November - pipTalk Forums

Michele my belle, You never do get enough responses, cant figure it out....maybe cause you ride solo.
Sparticus" I see you only recently joined PIPS, we dont diss each other here about punctuation...michele is a true artist...
Also,,,,it leaves you open to lost of negative responses.

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-19

Posts 7392
Ohio

11 posted 2003-11-16 06:21 PM

thanks for birdwatching guys,
and bboy, calm down, i am from your turf too, i can roll with the punches ......
but u are a steadfast fan, i know, so thanks dear

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