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Open Poetry #29
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Pathos (wranx's masquerade challenge)
| Open Poetry #29 |
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Pathos (wranx's masquerade challenge) |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg 
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My apologies to the poet whose style I used. The challenge can be found here: /pip/Forum7/HTML/000592.html Pathos I sat in the mouth of grey Pondering the skirts of the glossy window That winked at my eyes; Daring and turbulent they tossed themselves: Blue oceans captured in cotton fibre. Fearful and timid I heard a tiny singing voice That rained on my hair omen-like: The glass shattered and drew blood. I have not seen the legs of the ancient elm walk over the earth, Have never heard beach sand hissing at encroaching tides Who wrap their toothless gums over the strand; Long has the wintry phantasm dwelt before my face and smiled, But to be overcome with agony of disregard; I have not seen the feast of the fly And never, as the field mouse, made my home from empty spaces, Or, as my anscestors, mulled over a stick teeming with life. For when I lift my heavy arms into the lofty clouds On whose shoulders I see the myriad wings of our plane, I am drawn to my roots and hugged by soil and dirt, And distantly the girl in the forest laughs happily at me: Her laughter like birds. [This message has been edited by Local Parasite (11-14-2003 09:28 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 Brian James Lee - All Rights Reserved | |||
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Thanks Brian, This is awesome, and I have a notion of who you've honored with this...But, I'll be back with my guess. Wonderful poem, no matter the style!!! |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
I know who it issss . . . I know who it isss . . . *smiling* awesome writing Bri they will be honored well met indeed, by far xxoo |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
got me...I have no clue but I like it anyway |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Martie? |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Blue oceans captured in cotton fibre. ========================= I have not seen the legs of the ancient elm walk over the earth, Have never heard beach sand hissing at encroaching tides ============================== For when I lift my heavy arms into the lofty clouds On whose shoulders I see the myriad wings of our plane, I am drawn to my roots and hugged by soil and dirt, And distantly the girl in the forest laughs happily at me: Her laughter like birds. ============================== oh man you got some coooool lines and images in this...loving your symbolism and personify too... I, like the Capt see Martie's influence in this, but also maybe Maree too. Very cool write Bri ... missed you round here. this is a great challenge... too bad I cant even write like me these days.   Words break into splinters on the pages I write |
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Kaoru
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892where the wild flowers grow |
I'm absolutely speechless.... |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
methinks I see Martie too...althought I thought I saw myself in the title...sheepish grin. Well done mon amis! |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
me to, this was truly awesome, a wealth of a write indeed. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I see Maree first...and then sprinkles of Martie. I think this is wonderful, and am glad to see the stretch of you in it. |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
Brian you have an incredible talent. This was excellent. I tried to click on the link but it brought up an unavailable page? Help please! I would enjoy knowing what the original challenge was. Thanks! |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
Try now. And no I'm not revealing whose style I used, not until that person comes here and judges for his or herself.  |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
Thanks appreciate that much! Now I'm off to check out the challenge and see if I'm up to it. Hugs. |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
My first impression was Martie, then, I too saw some of Marees quirkiness...But? I'd say you are honoring Martie here. Again, nicely done! Ed |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
You painted her pretty good, for a guy.... nice work! ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
All that I can say with any certainty is that that is one hellova fine piece of writing!!! Warm hugs, EA |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (smiles) Oh Brian, this is beautiful, sweet friend, I have guesses in my mind of a few possible answers to the style, then again I believe poets should use all kinds of styles and I'm so glad you tried one here! (big hugggsssssss) God Bless You, sweet friend, this is wonderful, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Brian, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth |
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Greeneyes
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
This is pure talent...nicely done... Lauren~ |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
My first thoughts were martie because i know you like i adore her words, however looking at the form something says it's the captain..? |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
I think the words sound like Martie, too... but I also kind of see Serenity and Capt. Ron in the style. |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
I guess the party's over. Yeah, I tried to do Martie, and I guess I pulled it off because that's the primary guess you've all got going. Thanks. Faith is a fine invention |
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