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Open Poetry #29
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Cologne of Broken Actors
| Open Poetry #29 |
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Cologne of Broken Actors |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
The akinesia from three shots Tequila,lime,salt Left time for my eyes To follow the room As in frantic frenzied noise Cardboard cut outs Lit matches to the skin of decency Worn everywhere but Here Lost Vegas And burned away the last remnants Of life so they could be free To say “What Happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas.” She walked in With the semi defiant affectation Of Catholic school girl gone bad And sat with skewed legs Suggestive In a puddle of skirt As her hands arranged Enough room for one to glimpse Wares clearly polished Would be Lotharios Stroked their greedy eyes Before the tongue found purchase on words And the 100 proof in veins Gave courage to approach First shocked At either the tag Or the fact The second Amenable to the whole Pressed flesh of hand on more Before they found a way to the elevator And commerce again showed Supply side economics Was valid I felt my own skin begin to singe As mind began in tumble of cacti juice To think perhaps I too Could buy a moments forgetful Only to realize The smell of alone Suited my skin [This message has been edited by Cpat Hair (11-07-2003 09:12 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved | |||
Brad Majors
since 2001-04-03
Posts 2647Georgia |
well done |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
"She walked in With the semi defiant affectation Of Catholic school girl gone bad" Stop talking about me!!! LOL I am so glad you are posting!  "if you won't let me fall for you |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I think once JM bounces in here, she'll be off the walls over this...keeping teaching, Cap'n...your students are ready, willing, and eager to know how to pursue alone so well. |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Cpat, Tempt and you will be tempted, good write. |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
Love Tequila & salt, especially Tequila or Frozen Margarittas.... Anyway, as always your work is brilliant and I do so enjoy reading you...thank you for creating and sharing this work of art. I liked a lot. |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
As usual Captain...very well done! I'm so pleased you followed your good senses and remained clear headed about the woman with the goods for sale... OOOh it's just a poem!! See?? See what you do to me? I get so wrapped up in the story.... That's good...a real good sign. Good to see you back in the blue. Hugs~ ~Time has cast a spell on you, |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
Sighs Catholic schoolgirls..and the uniform mmmm plaid um.yeah. don't mind me i'm like totally stoned dude suggestion? ..Of life so they could be free To say “What Happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas.” seems better as burning the last remnants of life so they could be free to say What Happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas. something just felt awkward about those breaks and Corinne once told me italics work better than quotations and i agree. of course in all this keep in mind im out of mine grins |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
In a puddle of skirt ======================  ing at that line. Before the tongue found purchase on words And the 100 proof in veins Gave courage to approach ======================= love that personif. Yep..youre right Vegas aint your kind of town...lets go fishing...I'll bring the stink bait.  Words break into splinters on the pages I write |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Excellent work... my friend... regards sudhir |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
The smell of alone Suited my skin Loved this entire piece but this line... absolutely loved it, after all what matters most is that we like the skin we are in.... very well done. As Kari said...please... keep teaching.... |
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Greeneyes 
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
so very well done, and yet so sad....good to see you posting hon.... Lauren~ i carry your heart with me |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
loved this! the last lines were the kicker |
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Kaoru
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892where the wild flowers grow |
Wow ...I'm reminded of so many other writers when I read you.. Not to say you haven't a style of your own, you do.. And I love it |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Superbly done, Mr Smooth....Saturday night in Vegas...with a few too many and... Well, you know.... |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
You lay down bare bones here Cap.  Truly you are storyteller extraordinaire.  |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big hugggssssssss) Oh Ron, this is so very deep and provocative storytelling, sweet friend, the lime just ain't the flavor of the city there, it is more like the salt! (sigh) God Bless You, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Ron, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth |
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ranidae_poet Member
since 2003-11-05
Posts 66Texas,USA |
the imagery here drips off the page....fantastic write! There are only three beings worth of respect; the priest, the solider and the poet; To know, To Kill and to create. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Ron...So that's where you've been. You capture the scene and the players, and it as if I am really there. Well done! |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I felt my own skin begin to singe As mind began in tumble of cacti juice To think perhaps I too Could buy a moments forgetful Only to realize The smell of alone Suited my skin Just excellent. *S* More, please? *S* |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Wow Ron, what a story you weave..magnificent!... thanks for taking me there. Keeping this. fate is not just |
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Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
The smell of alone suited your skin?...Hell Hair, that's better than the after shave ya wear.."Catch of the Day".....How are ya my friend?....Your stories are a pain in the ass cuz ya gotta wait for part two...it's like the Zorro movies they showed at the movies before the feature...... |
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mytuesdaywishes Member
since 2003-09-05
Posts 254a voice from the musicbox |
hmm, the smell of alone suits your skin....i like that, very clever joy has its own justice. and dreams are languid and lawless. and everything bows to beauty, when it's fierce and when it's flawless... |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
"Pressed flesh of hand on more Before they found a way to the elevator And commerce again showed Supply side economics Was valid I felt my own skin begin to singe As mind began in tumble of cacti juice To think perhaps I too Could buy a moments forgetful Only to realize The smell of alone Suited my skin" Ya know, if it took tequila and Vegas to get you to write like this again, then I think it was worth it. Of course, I didn't have to endure the hangover.  |
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