»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #29
»
Just One Thread
| Open Poetry #29 |
|
Just One Thread |
|
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart 
|
There it was, one lone thread, dangling, like a participle, awaiting a gentle hand by man or woman, reader, or poet, to place it back where it belonged, but when I reached with my eyes, startled by it’s unconditional warmth, I jerked slightly, and the pull began to unravel what was there, and I watched as it came undone, pooling at my feet in angles and curves, capitals and lower case, words scattering beneath my gaze, commas gone awry, ellipses scattering like bb’s, rolling across a soundless floor. Just one thread, a lone poem, awaiting a review, and me, taken up by it’s treasure of words, its sounds and assonance ringing clear, alliteration in lights and song, when the cursing came across before I could reply, the critic having harbored his discontent on the poet’s shore, not finding the pearls scattered beneath his feet. Just one thread. Gone. |
||
| © Copyright 2003 Karilea Rilling Jungel - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
awesome write filled with many good thoughts for the reader...awareness and allowance, filled with patience, understanding...this one is a keeper...lovely write |
||
|
Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
and I watched as it came undone, pooling at my feet in angles and curves, capitals and lower case, words scattering beneath my gaze, commas gone awry, ellipses scattering like bb’s, rolling across a soundless floor. mmmmm...fantastic writing and wonderful images! |
||
Greeneyes  
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
WOW Karilea~ this is stunning poetry......heart hugssssss..... Lauren~ i carry your heart with me |
||
|
EvocativeVerse2 Senior Member
since 2003-09-10
Posts 1279 |
Stunning, beautiful, wow! I think that about sums it up. This is an amazing piece Sunshine. I am totally jealous! (Wink!) Well done. Remember, if you're not part of the future, you're history! |
||
|
kayjay Member Elite
since 2002-06-24
Posts 2015Oregon |
I feel that it is always important to have confidence in your own voice. I think that I need to write much more. I ponder what I may write about. I take away an awe at your art/skill. Well done!! KJ Through rubble and trouble and dark of night |
||
|
Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Wonderful imagery here Karilea! See? This is what I mean...teach me?  I love this...and I'm keepinng it! Hugs YOU!~ |
||
|
Ericc Member Elite
since 2003-01-31
Posts 4178 |
Beautiful!! Eric |
||
|
Marty Baird Member
since 2003-09-20
Posts 90Georgia, U.S. |
A Poem worth reading filled with a depth of meanings Thanks |
||
|
midgetday3 Junior Member
since 2003-11-06
Posts 11Kentucky |
Wow...This work is so beautiful!! |
||
|
Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
This is sad in a way that only a poet can feel, only a poet could express, and only another poet understand. I do hope it changes soon, before another treasure is lost. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
||
vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
nice  |
||
|
garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Just one thread, a lone poem, awaiting a review, and me, taken up by it’s treasure of words, its sounds and assonance ringing clear, alliteration in lights and song, when the cursing came across before I could reply, the critic having harbored his discontent on the poet’s shore, not finding the pearls scattered beneath his feet. Just one thread. Gone. Karilea, I may have gotten something completely different in what you are meaning here, but it seemed very sad to me. Your poems make me think, and I like that.  Hugs  Ethel |
||
|
catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
This feels sad to me too, but oh so well done. Hugs Sandra |
||
|
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Karilea I bow to your ability. There is so much weight in this to hold, fragile yet strong. |
||
|
Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
I came back to this because I felt bad. I read this earlier and was so amazed that I couldn't think of anything to say that would do it justice...so just know, I was here and I was moved.  "if you won't let me fall for you |
||
|
Kaoru
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892where the wild flowers grow |
...what poetry CAN be...  |
||
|
jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
just when I think you couldn't write a better poem I read your next and its better than the one before....this is excellent...and I gotta say, it gives me peace of mind to know that you are there to guard our 'threads', one of mine was almost 'gone' once, but you found the ill content before I replied and did your good deed. I am grateful for you on these boards Sunshiney lady |
||
|
Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
There it was, one lone thread, dangling, like a participle, ============================= but when I reached with my eyes, startled by it’s unconditional warmth, I jerked slightly, and the pull began to unravel what was there, ==================== in angles and curves, capitals and lower case, words scattering beneath my gaze, commas gone awry, ellipses scattering like bb’s, rolling across a soundless floor. ====================== and me, taken up by it’s treasure of words, its sounds and assonance ringing clear, alliteration in lights and song, ======================= the critic having harbored his discontent on the poet’s shore, not finding the pearls scattered beneath his feet. =============================== Can a tardy moth say she told ya so now?  Just look at the response to this... I am moth giddy  I got tingles when I read it...I knew it was a very special write...and as you see I am in FINE company on that thought. Kari...this is an exceptional moment of inspire.. I adore poetry about poetry/poets and the connection we feel to the words... you have captured that and taken it to a higher place with the superb imagery and personifis that dance divinely with the expressions and the excellent extended metaphor and theme. on the poet’s shore, and ya know I love that line. VERY VERY cool poem poetess of the Sun... Put a bookmark on this one... its a must for the next pips book. Words break into splinters on the pages I write |
||
|
SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
one of these days, I am gonna do it like this |
||
|
Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Girl, this is awesome.....(stopping to pick up a few ellipse particles).... Simply WOW! I love it, love it all. Very well done... |
||
|
littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Karilea: oh I do know this too well indeed, your metaphors are astounding! ellipses scattering like bb’s, rolling across a soundless floor. and on the poet’s shore, not finding the pearls scattered beneath his feet. Amazing writing, Lady xxoo |
||
|
Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
A very sad yet amazing write Karilea. I have to agree with JM, definitely for the next book. M |
||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Would you believe, I hesitated to post this? Gads, I love poets. Thank you all for helping to keep me humble. Your comments are pearls, themselves, and I'm stringing my threads with them...thank you. [This message has been edited by Sunshine (11-07-2003 01:07 PM).] |
||
|
suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
words scattering beneath my gaze, commas gone awry, ellipses scattering like bb’s, rolling across a soundless floor. Don't you be losing those ellipses, ya hear? *G* Some of us are awfully fond of them! *G* This is excellent, lady... the loss is felt... so is the sense of helpless unraveling. |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
