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Open Poetry #29
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An Offering Of Simple Words (For Sven)
| Open Poetry #29 |
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An Offering Of Simple Words (For Sven) |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL 
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I cannot seem to get to this place anymore that soft unwary feeling I would get when your voice would enter my ears. With the first hello it was passion and all songs could never have enough words or enough notes to make the soundtrack to what was us. I wish things were different that the distance did not conquer us so that someone would believe in us more than we do so we can take a rest when we need to without the worry of loosing what we promised each other. This seems to be the best I can do with words. There is no other purpose for them now but to give them to you and hope in the quiet moments when shadows fill a room and your eyes are closed that you get to think of me peacefully minus all the pain excluding all the distance and just once a night pull my body to yours across these obscene landscapes of doubt and obliterate all my sadness with one touch of your lips. You don't seem to see me in my words anymore. Have I faded so much that even the words cannot dress me in my best? Where did I fail at making your heart beat faster with a poem with a touch with a voice? I love you. What more can I say? That is the longest poem I know right now and the most beautiful feeling that I could ever have. So this might not be creative genius but it is the best of my heart and I am handing it over to be publicly examined critiqued and I don't care what the outcome is as long as it touches. I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! |
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| © Copyright 2003 Jennifer - All Rights Reserved | |||
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
yes...very sadly beautifully done...what a gift... where has the ole boy been lately? He has been missed. |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Ah Jen. I wish I could say words similar to these to a certain person (you might know who). I don't think I ever will...he doesn't deserve it, wouldn't hear it. It's past now, anyway. So, since I can't write myself, I'll let your words speak for me, through me, tonight. Hugs you...I know this. K |
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Greeneyes  
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
Jen~ This aches....and you are laying your heart out for all to read...such an emotional expression....hugsssss lady..... Lauren~ i carry your heart with me |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
"in the quiet moments when shadows fill a room and your eyes are closed that you get to think of me peacefully minus all the pain excluding all the distance and just once a night pull my body to yours across these obscene landscapes of doubt and obliterate all my sadness with one touch of your lips." Amazing write here lady.. You've poured it all out right here on the blue pages... And I for one have truly missed your words. Heart Hugs~ Nancy ~Time has cast a spell on you, |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
TemptyOne~ This is a passioned write .. hope it reaches and is taken in by his eyes~ *Huglets* ~*Marge*~ ~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost, |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Definately passion in poetry...James |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
Passing Shadows, We have been out hunting down his muse and putting her in chains.  He is still around, but neither of us get to come here as often as we would like. I miss his words too. K, Do you know how wonderful it always is to see your replies to my poetry? I hope one day you do get to say what you want to say to him. They need to see it sometimes. Don't hold it in too long. I am glad my words could speak for some part of your heart. That gives me hope for my writing. My goal is to touch people with it, and if I'm not doing that, then I don't want to be a poet. Lauren, Thank you so much for your reply here, and the e-mail. Yes. I am putting it out here because I can't keep holding it in. Enchantress, I am so glad to know that someone has missed me. I was beginning to wonder. My muse...along with Sven's has been taking long vacations. Marge, Thank you. I hope he sees it too...with his heart AND with his eyes. James, Thank you so much.  You are always so supportive of my poetry, and it is wonderful. Everyone...Thank you...  really...I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Oh Jenn, when one has to dig this deep inside themselves for the pain that lives there, and expel it, soon life has a way of reality taking them to a much brighter place. My first reaction is to console you, and my second is to tell you that no one, no one should feel that they have to ask for a person's love, or feel pain from it. Love does not hurt! Lady, this was a superb write, but a very painful one for you I am sure. |
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EvocativeVerse2 Senior Member
since 2003-09-10
Posts 1279 |
WoW! That just left me speechless. Me of all people! I am never at a loss for words...and yet that was the most pwerful thing I have read this morning. Holy crap that was well done. Bravo I say! Remember, if you're not part of the future, you're history! |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
yes,he has been missed  we missed him liked this read [This message has been edited by vandana (11-04-2003 06:52 PM).] |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
Mysteria, No need to console me. I am very much in love, and it is returned. Being in love isn't painful for me right now. I am also frustrated because my muse ran off and didn't leave me a way to express how I feel to him these days. and trust me...this wasn't a poem asking someone for love. I already have it. See..I told you I wasn't writing brilliantly...I can't even get my intentions and thoughts across effectively. *sighing* EvocativeVerse, Thank you for your reply. I enjoy your work, and I think it goes far beyond mine..but I appreciate the time you have spent on this. I have better, I promise. vandana, He would be glad to know he still has support around here. Thank you for reading. I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! |
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Janette
since 2001-07-20
Posts 2843Chicagoland for now |
I loved reading this and as you well know I love the two of you, too! always seeking joy, adventure and romance and wishing you find the same |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
I think that you get your thoughts out quite well. . . this. . . just touched my heart when I read it. . . you’ve captured your feelings perfectly here. . . and I am honored and blessed to have them. . . to see them here, just makes me happy. . .and, makes me feel loved. . . I just can’t hold it in any longer either. . . not only your words. . .but, the words of the others who have replied. . .thank you all my friends. . . it’s good to know that I still have friends here. . .friends who wish nothing for me but happiness. . . thank you again. . .you may think your words simple. . .but, they are from your heart. . . which I will always hold close to my own. . . -------------------------------------------------------------------- I am tired . . . |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
(big hugggssssssss) God Bless You, sweet friend, this made me cry too partially because Sven found this and weve missed him for sooooo long and he understands your outcry ever so much, and also because you couldn't express yourself better because honesty is always golden poetry! Suppose if Shakespeare himself were lying i his poem and you were telling the truth, you'd be the better poet! (smiles) This is excellent, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Jennifer, thak you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth |
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Janette
since 2001-07-20
Posts 2843Chicagoland for now |
Just had to come and read this one...again. WOW! Hugs to you dear friend. Janette always seeking joy, adventure and romance and wishing you find the same |
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