Open Poetry #29 |
Tears Soften |
Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
I sit in the cold and the rain To think of my days in the sun Tears soften the edge of my pain Somehow I cannot explain My joy in the race I have run I sit in the cold and the rain I think that our living is vain Death comes to all when life's done Tears soften the edge of my pain All that I was, will remain Not dulled by the blade through my run I sit in the cold and the rain Some think that I'm going insane It's my way of having some fun Tears soften the edge of my pain My life has been painted in dun Alone in the dark I have won I sit in the cold and the rain Tears soften the edge of my pain Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown [This message has been edited by Kethry (10-31-2003 09:06 PM).] |
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© Copyright 2003 Lynne Dale - All Rights Reserved | |||
Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
"My life has been painted in dun".... a very apt line which blends well with the feel of this piece....Interesting rhyme scheme, I feel there is something to this that I just can't grasp..regarding the form.... Nice write, Keth. Have missed seeing you recently. |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Magnus, It's a standard Vilanelle nothing special. Not like yours that blew me away - so echoing of my thoughts was it. *S Keth Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Kethry, And well done at that! Been many moons since I've attempted one of these pesky little beggers. Your subject is strong, the flow, excellent, I'd have to brush up on the intricasies of form, but it reads good to me. Darn, now I may have to try one again! As you used to say " Write on". Doc |
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Rdz9 Member
since 2003-03-16
Posts 142MT, USA |
I enjoyed your free-flowing style... and everyone has their rainy days in life... but theres always some sun in the future... eventualy. Enjoyed. Rob One in a sea of millions has the power to change the world... |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
I know |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Words that touch deeply written in flawless format... this is excellent, my friend. |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Kethry~ You are GOOD !!!! This is excellent poetry .. conveying the thoughts so very well~ I love you and miss your sweet smile~ *Huglets* ~*Marge*~ ~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost, |
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EvocativeVerse2 Senior Member
since 2003-09-10
Posts 1279 |
Painted in dun! LOL! NOw I could take that line two ways...and the one I choose is the lesser polite. Love this piece Kethry. Well done indeed. Great poem. Remember, if you're not part of the future, you're history! |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
(big hugggssssssss) Nothing special? Nothing special tra-la-la? LOL! Villanelles are one of the most beautiful forms of poetry in my mind and truly are an accomplishment to write perfectly, yay, God Bless You, this is powerfully heartfet, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Kethry, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
I thought it was better than special actually and very, very well done... This kind of writing takes effort and thought, something I've never been very good with... jwesley |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Noah, It was a piece of cake - the quisner kind. To everyone else thanks. Kethry Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Yes tears do soften...James |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
enjoyed |
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