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Open Poetry #29
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Thisman
Junior Member
since 2003-01-21
Posts 19


0 posted 2003-10-25 01:45 PM



a november daybreak in my sixth year
in the back of my uncle's battered ford
my sister clings to me and weeps

silently

uncle frank is not happy
he furrows his brow and stares
straight ahead


he has been summoned from blessed sleep
two hours away
by the sheriff

mama has run off drunk
in the front seat aunt alice
is emptying creamer packages
into her coffee then
stuffing them into the ashtray

where, shortly, they will smolder

outside
across a frost-bleached meadow
a coyote has climbed atop a haystack
no one else will see him

a moment breaks loose from time
I feel myself there with him
I feel the cold hay beneath me
I smell the crisp autumn air
I watch the car slip past into the unknowable

aunt alice is trying to tune in a gospel station
a wail is working it's way out of my sister
I try to hold it in by squeezing her hands
a whisp of smoke is curling from the ashtray
uncle frank looks as if someone
is twisting a knife in his gut

any minute now

all hell will break loose

again

© Copyright 2003 Thisman - All Rights Reserved
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
1 posted 2003-10-25 01:50 PM


ouch
MARK V SHELDON
Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015
In a corporeal internship...
2 posted 2003-10-25 01:52 PM


A very well written and intense read full of powerful imagery and thought!  This reminds me of something that would be required reading in a private high school or college -- and that's a compliment!  Very well done & leaves me curious to know more...

-MVS

You CAN make a difference:
http://educate-yourself.org/

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
3 posted 2003-10-25 02:00 PM


Yes, what Mark said.  Great imagery, and transportation of the writer to the coyote.  More, please!
MARK V SHELDON
Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015
In a corporeal internship...
4 posted 2003-10-25 08:33 PM


Too good to pass up this quickly -- back to the top!

-MVS

You CAN make a difference:
http://educate-yourself.org/

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
5 posted 2003-10-25 09:39 PM


ThisMan~
Such a compelling read~
You brought forth the realism so expertly that I wanted to hold the children in safe arms~

Welcome to Passions ... I will look for more of your postings~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram
   noles1@totcon.com     

SharaRose
Member Elite
since 2003-07-19
Posts 2501
Somewhere out there~
6 posted 2003-10-25 09:42 PM


Wow this reminds me of those car rides when no one speaks all the way home. Yikes...this was sooooooooooo like being there.
Terri~

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