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Open Poetry #29

observation

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant

since 2000-04-26

Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium

0 posted 2003-10-24 04:12 AM

a great loss it is
if he rushes away
from a rose that stands
wearing glossy smiles
having slid her toes
into the freshness
of new water
with thorns softened
and petals bursting open
with revitalized
life

particularly when
in a small matter
of swiftly fleeting days
her replenished youth
is doomed to
depart

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

1 posted 2003-10-24 04:32 AM

a sad topic but I enjoyed the read

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

2 posted 2003-10-24 12:29 PM

The shortest amount of time can provide lifelong memories... if someone recognizes and embraces opportunity. *S*

I liked this very much. *S*

Pilgrimage
Member Elite

since 2001-12-04

Posts 3945
Texas, USA

3 posted 2003-10-24 03:34 PM

Very true. We should enjoy the roses while we can. I love the bit about slipping her toes into water. Nicely done.

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

Sadelite
Member Elite

since 2003-10-11

Posts 2519

4 posted 2003-10-24 04:40 PM

with "thorns softened" and petals bursting open with revitalized life...
Nice analogy...

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant

since 2000-04-26

Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium

5 posted 2003-10-27 03:48 AM

Thanks a lot for coming by, my friends...

Regards
Sudhir

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