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Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant

since 2000-04-26

Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium

0 posted 2003-10-21 12:03 PM

a sea of crimson light
has left the city
twilight-cloaked
painting sin-like shadows
of voluptuous serpents
whose curvy hoods are raised
in geometric figures
of cosines and tangents

but repulsive darkness and
frostbites of estrange help
in their own cynical ways
to sift through
fair-weather friends
who hide behind curtains
of halogen lamps with
Mercury-inspired designs
that keep the zone
in artificial warmth

while rowdy crowds
keep the streets abuzz
with poisoned stares
from lust-filled eyes
under clouded hats
thinking perhaps that
silence is an insult
to the kingdom of night

but with all due respect
to the Roxannes of this city
I walked away;
in the knowledge that
some of the best sounds are heard
not amongst hustling winds
but in strains of murmurs
of the lulls in-between
and grasping well that
there's no love to be found here

*
reworked from CA...

Brad Majors

Member Elite

since 2001-04-03

Posts 2647
Georgia

1 posted 2003-10-21 12:30 PM

well done!

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

2 posted 2003-10-21 12:31 PM

Sudhir, I've never been good at giving critical analysis...all I know is how a poem makes me feel...I like this poem of yours, descriptions/imagery are wonderful...I know of the scenes, the emptiness.

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

3 posted 2003-10-21 12:46 PM

Sudhir
Enjoyed the read.

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

4 posted 2003-10-21 01:11 PM

"cosines and tangents" almost scared this mathophobic "angel" away! lol

~ I'm glad I was brave and ventured forth to read this poem so rich in descriptive imagery.

Linda

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

5 posted 2003-10-21 01:53 PM

but repulsive darkness and
frostbites of estrange help
in their own cynical ways
to sift through
fair-weather friends
who hide behind curtains
of halogen lamps with
Mercury-inspired designs
that keep the zone
in artificial warmth

You have a very beautiful mind and
a lovely way with words.

I thoroughly enjoyed the starkness and dark beauty you conveyed in this.
Impressive poetry Sudhir~ *applause*

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

6 posted 2003-10-21 09:22 PM

(smiles) Yep, no quadratic formula or Pythagorean theorem can identify the true blessings all around and measure their widths! (big hugggsssssss) God Bless You, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Sudhir, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth
I can see the sun set and I perceive

***Live***

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

7 posted 2003-10-21 10:26 PM

a pleasure to watch your writing grow

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

8 posted 2003-10-21 11:29 PM

Good God Sudhir . . .
I saw those dank streets here . . .
you brought me there
and I felt the in-between
xxoo

Ratleader

Member Rara Avis

since 2003-01-23

Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass

9 posted 2003-10-21 11:55 PM

Would you mind terribly if I,uh, borrowed your eyes for a while? Just a decade or two ought to cover it.....

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant

since 2000-04-26

Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium

10 posted 2003-10-27 03:49 AM

thank you all so very much... for your kinds words of appreciation...

regards
sudhir

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