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Open Poetry #29

free write

meteoraLP
Junior Member

since 2003-10-24

Posts 15

0 posted 2003-10-24 02:34 AM

She hid under the covers and cried softly,
not quite knowing why she had to hide there.

But she tried to imagine
someone outside,
waiting
for her,
waiting to dry her tears.

Cautiously, she lifted the covers,
only to find the Darkness,
and a small shadow on the other side,
weeping silently.

meteoraLP
Junior Member

since 2003-10-24

Posts 15

1 posted 2003-10-24 02:51 AM

does this belong in a different forum? if so, my apologies.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

2 posted 2003-10-24 04:45 AM

shadows that weep..neat theme

GG
Member Elite

since 2002-12-03

Posts 3532
Lost in thought

3 posted 2003-10-24 04:58 AM

this is beautiful..
definitely makes you think and picture the scene.
Its in the right place

Always, Alyssa

- And so it was that time stood still -
(blink, breathe, stand, fight)

EvocativeVerse2
Senior Member

since 2003-09-10

Posts 1279

4 posted 2003-10-24 12:51 PM

This is great...definitely belongs here.

Remember, if you're not part of the future, you're history!

Pilgrimage
Member Elite

since 2001-12-04

Posts 3945
Texas, USA

5 posted 2003-10-24 03:26 PM

This is beautiful. Just that. Beautiful.

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

Sadelite
Member Elite

since 2003-10-11

Posts 2519

6 posted 2003-10-26 05:11 PM

very nice... you've captured sadness well
Sadelite

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