Beware the Metronome (Revised/Take II)

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Sadelite
Member Elite

since 2003-10-11

Posts 2519

0 posted 2003-10-22 12:19 PM

     Metronome, Machine of Unrelenting Duty

Its rhythm's beats constantly pounding
Regardless the melody sublime.
Then harmony creates awkward squeeze
Distorting the meter, sound, and rhyme.

    "Your vexing clicks surround aesthetics,
     partitioning our time's tune beauty.
     You've no decrescendos or retards
     Machine of cruel heartless duty.

     Just burdensome boundaries you mark
     that will never mold pictures to time.
     Oh when will you stop, when will you cease
     so that melody and word form rhyme?"

mytuesdaywishes
Member

since 2003-09-05

Posts 254
a voice from the musicbox

1 posted 2003-10-22 01:00 AM

love it, just love it....being a musician i too dread the metronome and its utter lack of consideration for beauty....well expressed

i think that it's brainless to assume that making changes to your window's view will gain a new perspective.

Professor Gloom
Member Elite

since 2000-07-23

Posts 3082
of Depression

2 posted 2003-10-22 07:22 AM

I'll take it
and return with a Twist

Beware the Metro-Gnome (took2,twist1)

Pain of brain beats unrelentingly pounding,
Making bass beats to the screaming melody,
Wading walk waist deep waste surrounding
Grief greeting waist below beneath reality

your vexing clicks
steel coated tip toes
full of vile tricks
feel it where he goes

beneath the grating
amid the stewing spewing
Metro-Gnome’s waiting
for a little good dog
for hunger’s slaking

your poodle he’ll steal
to the dark dank below
and becomes the meal
in fantasy’s shadow

Do they exist or are they just fantasy
More mythos mucking under street
Puppies pray they’re not reality
Least they fall to the Metro-Gnome’s beat

Gloom

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

3 posted 2003-10-22 09:28 AM

I think you revised this enough, Sadelite, that we can allow it to remain in the same forum as the original post. Normally we do not allow double posting, but I think you re-wrote this sufficiently enough to have created a new poem.

Thanks! I think I enjoyed this version much better!

Sadelite
Member Elite

since 2003-10-11

Posts 2519

4 posted 2003-10-22 09:30 AM

P.G.,
  Instead of Professor Gloom, or Parental Guidance, I'm beginning to think P.G. is the acronym for Play Guy!   This just isn't fair!   I work for days on this and you spend a few playful ticking minutes without boundaries to create a masterpiece!
   Incredible twisted brain of yours!   Thanks for the awesome response.  You're not as slow of mind that i thought.  Ha!
                      Satelite

Sadelite
Member Elite

since 2003-10-11

Posts 2519

5 posted 2003-10-22 09:35 AM

Mytuesdaywishes,
       I wondered if there were people out there who felt the same way.   I appreciate your kind words.
                          Sadelite

Sunshine,
    Thanks for the read and your comments.
I'm glad you're out there.
                          Sadelite

Dr.Moose1
Member Elite

since 1999-09-05

Posts 3448
Bewilderment , USA

6 posted 2003-10-23 05:08 PM

Sadelite,
You summed this up well. I've got another twist on it for you along the lines of Prof Glooms' If you're interested.
Doc

Sadelite
Member Elite

since 2003-10-11

Posts 2519

7 posted 2003-10-28 02:34 AM

Dr. Moose 1,
    Thanks for hoofing by.   I liked your
tick on this one.  Good tick.  Trek by this way again sometime.
                          Sadelite

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