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Open Poetry #29

Promises

exhale
Senior Member

since 2003-06-13

Posts 646
Alberta,Canada

0 posted 2003-10-19 03:24 PM

i know your speaking
but i cant hear you
you're so far away
so distant
was it something i did
something i didn't do
come back
come back to me
i'll be better
i promise
i promise

angelblueyes
Member Elite

since 2003-07-19

Posts 2148
Oklahoma

1 posted 2003-10-19 03:25 PM

I can feel the longing and hope in this.Sometimes many people make empty promises they can't keep.My hope is that you get what your heart desires.

Crystal

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

2 posted 2003-10-20 11:29 AM

Your critique box is open, Exhale, so my suggestion would be to put in the apostrophes where they need to be, and watch your spell check. Example: "your" probably would be better as "you're". Watching little things like that will probably garner more readers!

I enjoyed. Thank you!

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