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Open Poetry #29
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storm
| Open Poetry #29 |
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storm |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space 
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a drop of thought becomes a deluge and I am drowned in a mythical We that subsides in the eerie calm of reality the I of this storm From the minute you saw it |
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| © Copyright 2003 raphael giuffrida - All Rights Reserved | |||
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
just gotta ride the waves and hang on, fellow fishie  |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
Ya know i'm also a Dragon so how come I get all the pisces baggage and none of the Dragon's power anymore...grumble |
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pandonov Member
since 2003-10-03
Posts 478b/w conscience and insolence |
finally u posted something, it was worth the wait thou great depth |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
raph... a good piece that catches the elements of rain and storms without the overworked and overused presentations it is so easy to fall into... short verse seems to suit you well and the distilling of the essence into just a few words and to make that...poetry. is not an easy thing to do.. as for dragons and power..lol.. we make our own power my friend and we must find it first to be able to lean or call on it.. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Raph...I always feel strength and surety in your poetry, especially when you admit to vulnerability. Liked this one for those reasons. Hugs! |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
Thanks pandonov much appreciated Thanks Ron, sometimes i wish to write a longer piece but they seemed forced or they ramble. As for the dragon I'm still searching for that power lost it somewhere with my marbles Martie thank you, I wish i felt that surety hugs |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
You truly do have a talent for writing succinctly! Brevity suits you--and I enjoy surfing your thoughts with you! I was also struck by the Captain's reply and your amusing comeback.  Happy autumn!  EA P.S. Sending you some marbles in every colour of the rainbow! |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
thanks Linda, as long as there's some steelies catseyes get boring.. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
a drop of thought becomes a deluge =================== and? sometimes it turns into poetry.... like this.  Enjoyed your play on theme, metaphor and personifi..and you do it with succinct tight symbolism...no words wasted. well done poet sir. (cool signature lyric as well) every time I talk to you its over too soon |
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Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981 |
I'd start calling you 'cutie' or something. but then I'd scare myself and you so I've ruled that out. grr....your words are..all...good. and stuff. wishing I could write like you.... I mean it Raph. oh and its like that thing I was telling sers people...the whole lungs thing....about thats what I mean about wind...like not a storm but loss of wind... i love irony. see how rediculously socialy deprived I am today? grr.. What about China? Have you seen the Great Wall? |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Raph: a couple of things: I just noticed your signature (you just put it here didn't you?) *smiling at that . . . actually well *shutting mouth*) second, this reminded me of that tune by Pearl Jam . . (Ocean?) I'llll ride the wavvve . . . where it takkkes meeeeeeeeeee and this: As for the dragon I'm still searching for that power lost it somewhere with my marbles . . . they must have taken his marbles awayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy . . . *smiling* and for the write? he is there, always was xxoo |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
May I just say... WOW!!!! Hugs~ ~Autumn, the year's last, loveliest smile~ |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
Thanks JM and yup gotta love Sarah Harmer though I'm not sure if she's been discovered south of the border? Liz gotta hand it to you, you always make me smile and social awkwardness just means yer not a sheep although for all i know you could be hairy and hang out on people's lawns Thanks Sue..crazeeeee over the rainbow he is crazeee truly gone fishing..si! Nancy you may and may i say thanks.. From the minute you saw it |
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows |
There are heavy rains and strong winds all around me tonight. I have no doubt the Dragons are flying. Your poem fits in nicely for me. (I bet you didn't know what a gift it would be!) Thanks for sharing it. |
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gemjop Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587Pencilveinia, USA |
~the I of this storm~ I love how you worded this. we are, often the makers of our own bad weather. this is a new favourite of mine, of your poems. does that read right? who gives a.. ~I wanna live, I wanna give, I've been a miner for a heart of gold~ Neil Young |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
I'm with you! Cats eyes can get boring! I'll send you milkies, rootbeers, steelies, crocks and jumbo crocks, robin's eggs, oilies...and any other sort that suits your fancy! EA |
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EvocativeVerse2 Senior Member
since 2003-09-10
Posts 1279 |
Wonderful, great, perfect, wish I had written it, from one dragon to another! Well done! Remember, if you're not part of the future, you're history! |
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Gina Culliney Member
since 2003-03-08
Posts 170 |
I loved the last line. The I of the storm, reminds me of the eye of an hurricane, Well penned and tightly written. |
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