Outside the twenty first hour

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Open Poetry #29

Outside the twenty first hour

gemjop
Member Elite

since 2002-11-18

Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA

0 posted 2003-10-11 09:28 PM

Inside outside
seek the same breath of hair inhale
and
I can't
help
it

These rocking heads
mosh same as

but
I
like
it

Glossy mop top casual fling
more
than
you
think

When will I stop
mirror imaging you
looking for cut of uncut hair
that doesn't belong to you

maybe
I
belong
to
you

for a little while yet
.
.

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

1 posted 2003-10-11 09:31 PM

Haha, I love your title. I would have just called it "past nine." I guess I think too simply. Very late-night-television of you.

I had to read this poem a couple of times to really get it. I don't normally go for this confusing fragmented free-verse-if-verse-at-all style, so I had to squint a lot to get anything out of it. Like Buckley's, it tastes awful, but it works.

Don't take that as an insult. After all, I said it works. Good sentiments wrapped in what is a good style, but not my taste.